


Thinking

by nature_projection



Series: When the World Falls [1]
Category: Far Cry 5
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Sex, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Porn with Feelings, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-13
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:20:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 25,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22241722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nature_projection/pseuds/nature_projection
Summary: Started out as a one time short and have decided to turn it into a full length story.The mess of a story between a pyromaniac outlaw and a heroic deputy.
Relationships: Sharky Boshaw/Male Deputy | Judge
Series: When the World Falls [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1697290
Comments: 3
Kudos: 40





	1. Chapter 1

Sharky’s been thinking again- and boy oh boy do bad things tend to happen when sharky starts to actually think about the shit that goes down in hope county. He’s been sitting on the roof of his trailer home, pleasantly buzzed, well more like on the way to being thoroughly sloshed, swaying his feet against the wall aimlessly. The sun set a long time ago and sharky’s not proud to say he’s running out of shit to burn, not to mention his stash of beer is down to about half a dozen and he’s not in the mood for cheap party liquor or toilet wine. He thinks back to the time him and Hurk got so drunk a couple years back that they thought once every drop of alcohol had been consumed that it was a good idea to find a nearby cabin and make more alcohol. Sharky’s face cringes at the memory as he’s convinced that hangover will haunt him till the day he dies. 

Next to him sits a zombie comic that’s been sitting on the side of his bed for weeks now, reaching over without a second thought he picks the flimsy book up and reaches into his pocket for his lighter. the flames roar to life before settling into a gentle flicker, it’s warm against his cheeks and with a mixture of alcohol in his system as well, a warm fuzzy feeling settles over him. his hand reaches up and the tip of the comic book connects with the flames in a storm of amber that ignites in a whoosh. Waiting until most of the book was in flames he flings the book in front of him and watches it sail through the air until it hits the floor with a soft thud and little red ambers release from under it. 

He faintly remembers one of the first times Dep had come over to his house after a hard day of killing peggies and Dep had spent a good second eyeing the comic on his bed side as if it could save all of hope county. Eh, maybe Dep just wanted to read it, it’s not like he’s got a lot of spare time- hell, Sharky has only seen the guy sleep maybe four times in however long he’s been here. Dep’s an absolute machine when he needs to be, everything about him is cold and calculated. One, two three- and again one, two, three pulling the trigger on countless peggies, who’re really just innocent people blindly following in an idea that the world’s going tit’s up. Maybe Dep’s not as innocent as Sharky once thought but he’s a goddamn hero, this cult is kidnapping people, torturing and killing them and if Dep can change that with his super human strength and cold eyes then Sharky isn’t going to judge him. 

As he cracks his seventh beer of the night, he thinks about how Dep has changed over the couple of weeks. Before, when the two of them started out going after the cult together Dep and Sharky were like equals, just two dudes rockin’ up to liberate whatever needed liberating. But as of recently, Dep’s been in the front lines-he always has been but he’s almost reluctant to send Sharky in there at all, he’s almost not focusing on the peggies shooting at him but making sure that none of those bullets are aimed at Sharky. He’s protecting him, Sharky realizes, Dep cares about him and that fluttering feeling doubles in his stomach again. Dep knows what he can do and he’s well aware of Sharky’s firearm capabilities, he’s even been made aware so by the man himself. 

“you did good.”

And holy shit, if Sharky didn’t get a kick out of Dep’s compliments he’d slap himself stupid- because my god big, bad, brave Dep just called him good. Sharky knows it means something because Dep is usually quite, only needs to speak when it’s necessary, if he needs to tell you something he’ll tell you, but rarely does he speak. It adds to Dep’s whole style of the silent killer type, all badass like it’s some spy movie. But it’s not a movie and this is life and death yet for some reason Sharky is too busy thinking for it to click in his mind. What Dep and him have isn’t quite a friendship nor has there been any romance involved, but Dep seems to enjoy his constant ramblings on the road, the fact that Dep is almost always quite and Sharky sometimes literally never shuts up works for the both of them. Sharky has never once felt judged or threatened by Dep and it’s mutual, Sharky never pushes Dep for an answer cause he knows he’s not going to get one. Dep is fine the way he is, Sharky has never needed more than what Dep has given. Honestly, it’s nice to hang with someone who’s not his cousin, for although he loves Hurk and they’re bromies- Dep is the closest thing to a friend he’s got. He gets that flutter in his stomach that’s he’s totally going to blame on alcohol and not on the fact that he feels happiest when him and Dep are roasting peggies, there’s a sense of pride that swells in him too when he noticed that out of all the people in hope county who have offered to lend a hand and help fight the good fight along side Dep he’s only ever brought them when they’re truly needed but otherwise it’s just him and Dep. Sure he’s called for help from Auntie Addie or Nick when he’s needed extra air support or Grace for a sniper once or twice but Sharky is Dep’s right hand man and he’s proud of that. It’s chemistry- that’s what they have, they’re a goddamn unstoppable team taking down peggie after peggie. Sometimes when he’s alone he thinks about Dep, about that safe feeling he gets when the two of them are together. He wished they could be more, if that safety extended beyond just a caring friend. He wants Dep to kiss him, to fuck him, to make him feel safe all over again- he’s not looking to feel safe out on the battle field, he already has that from Dep, he wants the kind of safety from a lover. It’s a kind of safety he hasn’t had in a very long time. 

The thought of a normal life pops into his head, one where him and Dep didn’t have to sleep with a gun under the pillow and one eye open. Dep would be the best cop on the force and maybe Sharky wouldn’t be on bad terms with the law, even be a handyman or a mechanic- he’s worked up enough skills fixing and playing around with old cars and trinkets at the trailer park that he’d do a mighty fine job if things where different. They’d live in a cabin up in the Whitetails, Dep coming home everyday with a grin on his face as he reaches over to kiss him so tenderly that Sharky practically melts into his chest. That night after a warm dinner they’d go into their bedroom and Dep would fuck him all night until they’re both too tired and they cuddle til the next day where Dep gets up for work again with a coffee in hand and a kiss on the cheek. It’s a dream of course, and that’s all it’ll ever be but Sharky’s dry spell as left him feeling as lonely as ever that he can’t help himself. 

That bubbly feeling in his chest changes to one of worry when he thinks about the last time he saw Dep. He looked tired as though all the fighting was beginning to catch up to him, drained and sore Dep told him he could go home and rest up. He sounded deflated almost, as he told him he’d be in touch, that everything was fine and he’d be around in a bit. Turns out a bit meant five days of radio silence and not a trace of Dep. Fuck- Sharky has been worrying for a while now, he attempted to go out and look for him but he didn’t know where to start, there’s been no sign of Dep anywhere and a small voice in the back of his head told him that Dep was dead.

As if on que a car comes driving down the road and turns to drive down his personal driveway. On reflex Sharky goes for his gun, clicking off the safety and aiming at the driver incase some peggies decided to ruined his night. But instead a bleeding Dep stumbles out of the car and nearly topples onto the ground in front of him. He just manages to catch the hood of the car for balance as he sways back and forth. Sharky hops down from the roof swiftly and without thinking he goes to put one hand on Dep’s shoulder and the other on his waist to steady him. At the sudden contact Dep groans out a noise of pain and leans into Sharky’s body. From up close Sharky can see he’s bleeding through the shirt he’s wearing from cuts all over his chest and arms. Trying his best to avoid any wounds, Sharky pushes them gently in the direction of his front door. Up close he can feel just how much taller Dep is than him and how he’s so much stronger in every way, he’d love to have Dep touch him- goddamnit Boshaw, pull yourself together Dep’s hurt so snap out of it and be there for him. 

That’s how Sharky found himself patching Dep up on his worn out leather couch in his living room at one in the morning. Not one of them spoke about where Dep had been or where he got the injuries, they just sat in silence as Sharky cleaned and dressed wound after wound. With the soft lighting and the crisp white bandages surrounding Dep he couldn’t help but notice how human Dep looked in this moment. Face flushed with color, bags under his eyes, grit and dirt scattered all over him, shaking hands and uneasy breathing. Dep’s head was resting on the back of the couch as he sat defeated in the middle of it, his soft brown eyes were on Sharky the whole time. When Sharky went to wipe some of the dried blood from around a nasty cut on his forearm Dep’s hand reached out and grabbed his own, lightly clinging to it but still holding it softly.

“Thank you”

Dep’s voice was heavy and rough as if he was straining to speak, he couldn’t figure if it was exhaustion or lack of speaking or a mixture of the both but nonetheless Sharky did his best to give his softest smile in return, gently rubbing at Dep’s hand.

“S’Okay”

Sharky inwardly cursed himself, he should have said something better, more comforting but no words felt right at the moment. 

And so, for the next half and hour- forty five minutes they sat there sitting across from each other holding hands and just sitting in a comfortable silence. Dep’s hand had turned slightly so their fingers interlocked and he rubbed slow circles around the back of Sharky’s hand which hid the fact he was shaking slightly. After what felt like an eternity Dep broke the silence. 

“I’m sorry”

Sharky was a little shocked, why was Dep apologizing? He’d done nothing wrong, not to Sharky’s knowledge anyway. 

“For what?” 

Sharky asked, voice still soft as if he was talking to a wounded animal. Dep sits still for a moment, completely in his head as if he’s trying to find the right words. 

“I shouldn’t have left like that. Should’ve-“

Dep cuts himself off with a heavy defeated sigh, his eyes leaving Sharky to stare at the floor. He says nothing more and Sharky has the urge to comfort him. Whatever happened in those five days has shaken Dep and he’d be dammed it he was just going to sit by and let him suffer alone. But before he could voice his concerns Dep spoke again. 

“Jacob, he- I was in the Whitetails and the chosen came, and then there was the cages and the trials”

Sharky is surprised, Dep is talking. Dep is talking to him and he’s vulnerable, Sharky’s heart swells in a bittersweet way. Dep grits his teeth at the painful memory he seems to be experiencing, which is no surprise. He’s aware of what Jacob does the torture and trials he inflicts on people. He could only imagine the pain Dep has suffered going through it, he’s been caught by Jacob three times now and Dep has always been strong enough to make it out. One of those three times it was nearly Sharky himself in the chair waiting to be tortured by Jacob and his goons but Dep threw him in the river last minute to ensure he’d be safe, unfortunately it ended in Dep going instead of him. 

At that thought he gently gets up, careful not to startle Dep and seats himself next to Dep on the couch. Their hands still intertwined.

“I’m sorry too”

Dep gives him a look of confusion and squeezes his hand gently for him to elaborate. 

“I’m sorry that you have to go through all this for Hope, no one asked you to do this for us. I’m sorry ya got hurt for us, for me.”

Dep gives him this painful smile that makes Sharky feel like his whole world is crashing. Both of them slowly, self consciously lean forward until Dep’s lip lightly brushes his own. It’s so soft he almost couldn’t feel it but as he leans forward and into Dep more he feels it. Boy oh boy does he feel it, the warmth of Dep’s lips against his own, he melts into it letting out a soft moan at the release he feels after wanting this for so long. Dep’s other hand makes it’s way from his jaw and up to his cap where his fingers push gently under it so it slips of his head. Once it’s gone Dep’s fingers slip through his slightly dirty hair, his hand gives a soft tug to his hair and Sharky gives another soft moan which allows for Dep’s tongue to slide into his mouth beside his own.

As their soft innocent kiss turns into a heated make out session, Sharky makes a whining sound which could be called pathetic in any other context but he couldn’t care less about anything other than Dep’s hands on him. When they break away for air, he pushes gently on Dep’s chest, gesturing to his bedroom at the other end of his house. Agreeing swiftly Dep stands, completely firm on his feet again like he didn’t come to Sharky’s house an hour ago bleeding and barely conscious. Dep takes his hand in his own and leads them down the hall, stopping every couple of seconds to kiss him. The last time Dep stops to kiss him, he’s a little more dominant and his hands grab at Sharky’s ass, squeezing firmly before hauling him up with his hands still planted on his ass. On instinct and fear of being dropped, he wraps his legs around Dep’s waist and his arms go to sit around his neck. He knew Dep was strong, but fuck Dep picks him up like he’s nothing more than he’s gun or ammo bag. The feeling of being manhandled around has him feeling hot all over. He leans forward, head resting on Dep’s shoulder, facing his neck to let out a long sigh at the shiver that runs through him. Dep kisses his hair and carries him the rest of the way with minimum struggle until his ass hits something soft- ahh his mattress. 

After Dep has sat him down, he kneels down on one knee to start undoing the laces of his mud ridden sneakers. Once they were off along with his socks Dep’s hands travelled all the way along his legs, squeezing at his thighs before he went to undo the belt of Sharky’s jeans. He waited until Sharky was in only his underwear and lying comfortably on the bed before undressing himself. Dep climbed onto the bed to lean over him and kiss him tenderly once more. His hands make his way to Dep’s shoulders and then his hair as he makes a side note in his head that he’s never going to get tired of Dep kissing him. Dep pulls away slowly, rubbing circles along his inner thigh.

“Can I take these off?”

He realizes how much he loves the sound of Dep’s voice, it’s gravelly and raw but low and smooth at the same time. He replies to Dep’s request with a sharp nod as words seem to fail him. Once Dep has removed both their underwear, he begins kissing down Sharky’s body. Moans and whimpers bubble out of him one after the other as Dep pays close attention to his left nipple, kissing and licking at it, leaving a bite or two before kissing it better again and it’s left him feeling dizzy and throwing his head back. Dep spends another couple of minutes doing the same to his other nipple as his hands roam his torso, his not beer gut and his thighs. 

Sharky feels he’s in absolute heaven as little white spots dance his vision. He takes time to notice the little groans of pleasure that Dep let’s out every so often and if Sharky wasn’t hard before, he certainly is now. He put his hands through Dep’s hair, unable to resist and pulls him back up into another heated kiss. It changes the feel of the room, it’s not so soft and intimate anymore, only hot and heavy as breathily moans and groans fill the air. 

“Fuck me”

Sharky intended it to sound silky smooth and sexy but instead it came out as breathless and needy- which he was. He needed Dep, needed to have him inside him. To fuck him hard and deep until he can’t walk anymore. Dep’s response was to kiss him again, soft and gentle before he pulled away to find the lube that was lying somewhere in Sharky’s drawers. As Dep busied himself with trying to find the lube, an alarming thought falls into Sharky’s head. This could complicate things- them, doing this could mean that it goes further, he could get a real chance of happiness with Dep. What if that all goes away, Dep could leave or worse die. One day Dep isn’t going to come back, they’ll be out shooting peggies and Sharky will watch Dep fall to the ground or Jacob will finally break him. What if Joseph is right? Will some apocalypse- religious or not destroy everything that him and Dep could be. There are so many loose ends that complicating what their already complicated relationship could make things worse. 

Dep’s hand on his cheek turns him to look into his eyes, stopping all thoughts in their tracks. Dep looks at him like he can hear his thoughts, like he’s had the same thoughts himself. Sharky’s lip quivers for a moment, only for a moment before he’s kissing Dep again. It’s desperate and emotional with Sharky clinging to Dep so tightly because Dep is his anchor. Dep has given him a purpose and not in a Jacob Seed “know your purpose” bullshit kind of way. Dep has given him something to fight for, he’s always going to stick with Dep because he’s always been there for him since the first time he walked into that trailer park and he’s done it without words. Sharky realizes that he’s answered his own question- why is he complicating things if it could hurt the both of them? Because they need it, they need each other in this way, not because they’re lonely but because they keep each other going. 

After a few more moments of them kissing, Dep moves to push at Sharky’s thighs so they’re open and he has access to all that Sharky is offering him. Dep reaches over for the lube that he places beside them and slicks up three fingers before giving him that look that’s asking to go on. Sharky, with a soft smile nods looks away in anticipation for what’s to come. 

What he’s not ready for is that hand that interlocks with his own before he feels the soft pad of Dep’s index finger at is entrance, slowly rubbing lube over his hole and then gently pushing in. Dep flexes his finger once, twice and then shifts upwards slightly which has him releasing a sound he’s never made before- a mix of a moan and a whimper as a hot spark of pleasure runs up his spine. 

Dep works him open with a practiced ease, a calm and gentle aura about him which makes him think how many times Dep has done this. The thought doesn’t last long as Dep is pressing into that spot again only this time with all three fingers which causes him to moan, well aware of the flush that covers his cheeks down to his chest. His legs ache from holding them open after so long but he doesn’t have a thought to care when Dep pulls his fingers out, causing him to temporarily whine at the loss until his hand moves to his neglected dick, pulling on it and spreading the excess lube over it and mixing it with the precum that’s already dripping from the tip. 

Dep’s hand once again leaves after a few strokes to his sensitive dick as he reaches for the lube and a condom that he must have placed there when he got the lube. Dep swiftly rips the condom off and rolls it into himself before he pours a large amount of lube onto his palm. He reaches down to stroke himself, covering his dick from the tip to the base. Sharky hasn’t realized it before but fuck, Dep is big- certainly bigger than himself, which doesn’t leave him feeling self conscious like he’d thought but in awe that Dep’s packin and it’s going inside him next. 

After Dep maneuvers his legs to sit comfortably around his waist, leans down to pepper kisses his shoulder. Dep kisses a trail up to his neck and then to his jaw, nibbling at edge of where his goatee starts before he kisses him on the lips. Tongues slip together and their spit mixes which distracts Sharky enough from the firm pressure that’s building at his hole. He hears Dep shift and groan into his mouth as the head catches and Dep slowly pushes into him. Dep is controlled, watching his movements, careful not to push in too hard or too fast- not until he’s ready. Dep pushes his hips forward in slow motions until he bottoms out. He’s pulled away from his mouth now and it’s back to nibbling at his jaw as he waits for him to get used to the sudden intrusion. 

“you okay?”

Dep asks after a while, he’s out of breath-they both are and Sharky finds himself half moaning out his answer to affirm Dep’s inquiry. Dep sits up on his knees and strokes his thighs, playing with them and squeezing for a moment until he pulls out almost the whole way and swiftly pushes back in. Sharky literally feels like he’s had the breathe knocked out of him or in this case fucked out of him. He doesn’t know what to do or say other than moan out Dep’s name. Dep finds a perfect rhythm that is between slow and deep and hard and fast. Sharky realizes with some slight discomfort that he’s not used to being on the receiving end of pleasure, both physical and emotional. When he’s been lucky and met a few women at bars he’s always the one trying to be smooth, to give the compliments that gets the girls blushing and when he gets even luckier to take them to bed he’s always trying to make them feel good, so that they’d might come back. His heart drops and he gets embarrassed quickly, he’s been trying so hard to please others so that he’s not used to all this. His face flushes and he turns away from Dep again, this time flustered. He pulls his hand up from where it rested on his chest to his mouth where he could bite at his finger, trying to hide the high pitched noises he was making. 

Dep’s noticed his change in posture and reached down to pull his finger away from his mouth, his hips having stopped their fast pace and moved into gentle circular movements. Dep wrapped his fingers around the hand he had bitten down on and kissed over the small mark left there. After giving him a reassuring kiss, Dep’s hands moved to his waist and shifted him slightly up. Sharky literally melted, Dep hit that spot again, oh god it sent fuckin fireworks through his belly and his toes curled. Dep held him there, just slightly elevated and began pumping at that angle, picking up the pace again. Silky precum leaked from the head of his dick and nipples where white and hard. He’s close, too close and Dep knows it, he’s got a smug grin on his face that comes to life every time he whines or moans. He notices he sweat along Dep’s brow and the lack of rhythm that is now noticeable in his movements. Dep’s close too but in a split second his mind goes blank and his orgasm unexpectedly rolls through him. He cums- untouched and sudden with a hot flash running through his groin that Dep fucks him through. He sees white and his whole body tenses and squeezes so tightly as the pleasure spreads through his whole body before slowly disappearing. 

When he comes to, he barely has time to register the few final thrusts Dep gives before he too spills over the edge and does something completely unexpected. 

“Sharky”

He moans, it’s quiet nonetheless but Sharky fully expected Dep’s orgasm to be like the rest of him, silent with possibly a groan or two. Instead Dep outright moans his name and he thinks he could almost cum again at the sound that is delivered right into his ear. As Dep comes back from his orgasm he bites at his ear which sends a shiver through Sharky and he leans up to pull out and tie the condom off. Dep throws the condom in the bin in the corner of the room and reaches down for his shirt which was laying on the floor. He wipes down the mess between Sharky’s legs which are still spread open for him, Dep makes sure to be gentle as he’s still sensitive around his hole and then reaches up to wipe the stickiness off his chest and spent dick. When he’s finished Dep throws the ruined shirt onto the floor and rolls to Sharky’s side, moving him so they’re lying chest to back and Dep can spoon up behind him. Dep reaches down to pull the sheet that had been pushed down during their activities so that it lay over them, not needing anything more on the summers night. His arm wraps around Sharky’s chest and their fingers interlock, his other arm sits comfortably folded, serving as a pillow for Sharky’s head. 

Sharky moves to tangle their legs together and he huffs our a soft laugh at the tickle when Dep goes to pepper kisses at the back of his neck. That laugh turns into a smile as he thinks- yeah this could work, he likes this, him and Dep will figure it all out, the rest is history. 

That night Sharky falls asleep thinking of Dep and feeling happier than he has been in a very long time.

Maybe it’s not such a bad thing when Sharky starts to think.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was way longer than I intended but I got some good feed back from y’all and I’ve been playing with the idea of writing a proper story for a while now and I say let’s just do it.
> 
> There is no smut in this chapter it’s just full of feels and emotions. 
> 
> Let me know what ya think and sorry for any errors.

Sharky stirs awake slowly that morning, a soft light sweeping through the window. Dep’s arm is draped across his chest so his back sits firmly against his chest. Their legs are tangled between each other and he’s pretty sure that his left arm which is pinned under his body has gone numb altogether. Sharky had his first good night sleep last night since this cult stuff started and boy it feels nice to wake up well rested but more importantly it feels even nicer to wake up with someone’s arms around you. That someone happens to be the one and only Dep who is the hero for hope county and it’s got Sharky feeling like he’s the luckiest guy in the world. For all the years he’s spent alone, trying his best to pick up chicks at bars and failing miserably, he would go through it again just to have Dep in his life. He really would. 

Sharky can feel the tattoo that’s engraved onto Dep’s skin. Wrath. He feels so much regret, so much guilt for not having done more that day. When Dep made his way into falls end and told him to go home he listened without hesitation. He didn’t even consider that Dep was on his way to cut the chord on ol’ john. Dep was in a lot of pain after that day. He remembers when Dep came stumbling into the spread eagle covered in blood with bullet wounds and cuts all over him. Sharky truly thought Dep was gonna die that day. 

They rushed him to the hope county clinic as fast as they could with a convoy of trucks clearing the way for them. Sharky was in the back seat with Dep trying to keep his head up so he could stay conscious. He held Dep’s hand the entire way, without once letting go. He remembers sitting outside of the room all night, guarding it. With his shotgun in hand, he didn’t move from his position outside the door. Hurk was so worried about him when he didn’t sleep or leave the hospital waiting room for nearly two days- hell he nearly shot Lindsay when he arrived to stitch Dep back together. 

Still though, Sharky blames himself for not doing more to protect Dep. He should have walked into that church with him. He should have been with Dep when he went to save his Deputy friend. He should have done a lot of things. A day or two after the whole event, the two of them were walking through the apple farm down at Ray Rays when Sharky told Dep just how worried he was and how he would’ve happily gone inside that church with him. Dep stopped dead in his tracks and placed a hand on his shoulder. 

“No”

Dep was always blunt with his words but man, the way he said it that day will be permanently scared into his brain forever. Dep seemed so solemn but so sure of that one ‘no’. It seemed as if whatever happened in that church was traumatic enough that if Dep could go back he’d make sure sharky never walked in there. Dep’s hand stayed heavy on his shoulder for a while after that moment. 

Sharky sighs softly, trying to block out the memories of almost losing Dep and the near death experiences both of them having- there are literally thousands trust me on this one. He leans back into Dep a little further and that’s when he feels Dep place a kiss to the back of his neck. And another to the shell of his ear. Dep places another kiss on the edge of his jaw until he’s littering soft kisses all over him. Sharky chuckles softly at the air that trickles over his skin and turns his head to kiss Dep properly. It’s not the most romantic kiss ever, with the two of them having morning breath and both still being half asleep that it’s more teeth and awkward tongue swapping than an actual kiss but it’s perfect for the time being. In this moment there is no psycho killing, kidnapping cult, there’s no war being fought outside, there’s no threat of nuclear annihilation on the radio. There’s just Dep and him and they’re kissing on this perfect early morning and nobody can stop this perfect moment. 

Turns out that perfect moment continued well into the morning when they finally got out of bed and Dep made them coffee. Evidently it ended up with them making out with Sharky pinned to the kitchen cabinet. His backside is gonna bruise for a couple of days but hey for all the attention he’s getting he’s not gonna complain much. Fuck man there’s that bubbly feeling in his chest again, he feels as high as a giraffe in Jamaica with the way Dep is making him feel right now. He stares into Dep’s green eyes and swears he’s got eyes he could just swim in for days with the way they’re so beautiful. Dep’s got a hand placed on his jaw and his thumb is just rubbing slow soothing circles along his cheek bone as they stand aimlessly in the kitchen. It actually makes Sharky feel at ease which is hard to achieve for him. Sometimes he feels so jittery that even the outdoors of Montana has a huge wall around it and he needs to just bounce off it. Sometimes its nerves and sometimes it’s just a restless feeling but unless he burns through a pack of cigarettes or any nearby angels or the entire forest, Sharky feels like he’s gonna go crazy. 

But not this, not here right now with Dep giving him his total attention. He can see why Dep is quiet now, what he sees in just enjoying the company of someone. How you can feel just as good and accomplished by leaning into them and being around them rather than telling them straight up how you feel. In the end, he ends up getting tired and leaning into Dep so his cheek rests against his shoulder, but he’s mindful not to touch any of the bandages that he put there the night before. Dep’s arms wrap around him and his hand makes its way into his hair, softly brushing his fingers through it. Sharky smiles and leans into him more, a rush of only what can be described as good feelings runs through his spine and settles into his stomach. Dep leans ever so slightly to the left, bringing Sharky along with him before moving over to the right. They do this for a little bit until they find a rhythm that is slow and soft as they sway and dance to nothing but silence and the sound of their own breathing. 

Dep is the one to break it after however long they were there for as he pulls back to place a kiss to Sharky’s temple. 

“I’m heading back to Jacobs region, Tammy has asked me to help her out with some radio towers” 

Sharky’s heart fucking sinks to the floor, all that anxiety from last night comes flooding back. The look on Dep’s face after coming back from the mountains scared him shitless. Dep was wounded both physically and mentally from that place and Sharky wishes he never had to go back there. But the militia need help up there, especially against Jacob’s army. Call him selfish but he wants Dep and him to stay here for a while. Could Broseph and his cult just fuck off for ten minutes so they could not worry about getting shot during any time of the day. 

Sharky sighs heavily and goes to correct Dep’s past statement.

“Uhh, we’re heading back to Jacobs region cause Tammy has asked us to help her out. Where you go, I go Dep and if ya think I’m gonna sit here kickin cans all day while you go out being all bad ass and shootin peggies well guess again cause them dang peggies shoot back and you’re gonna need me when the bullets go flyin.”

Before Dep could protest, (and he clearly was with the way his mouth fell open mid through Sharky’s little rant) he pulled back from Dep and went into the bedroom to snag his hoodie off the floor. 

It was still relatively early when they finally headed out on the drive deep into the Whitetail mountains. It was quite peaceful actually, they just passed Addies Marina and had already been in the car for about half an hour. The water reflected the early morning sun but it was still early enough that the wind nipped at Sharky’s cheeks and ears. Dep had one hand on the steering wheel and the other was laced with his own and sat in the middle of them. There was some fifties song playing faintly in the background and Dep smiled without taking his eyes off the road. 

For the next two hours it was relatively easy going, Dep was taking all the back routes to avoid as much peggie activity. Usually when they drive around they stay on main roads to help out civilians and keep the attention on them and not on the unarmed families and people of Hope County but there’s been so much tension in the Whitetail Mountains recently. Dep just came back from being napped by Jacob again and each time they’ve run into the cult up here there’s been nothing but bloodshed. The more and more Sharky thinks about it the more nervous and jittery he gets. He knows they’re close to liberating the mountains but I mean hell Dep nearly died taking John out, Jacob is ten times worse in his opinion. These questions keep coming up in his head- What if this is the thing that breaks Dep? All these what ifs freak him the fuck out because all of them are entirely possible. 

He starts to zone out into his own little dark place when Dep pulls him out of it. They’ve stopped driving and have pulled up to a lookout car park. Dep gives his hand a light squeeze and leans into the seat so he can face him. Sharky still hasn’t really found his thoughts yet and finds himself staring hopelessly lost at Dep. Next there’s a hand on his cheek drawing the same slow circles from back at the house. Dep must have noticed the calming affect it had on him cause it works like a charm once more. 

“I’m right here okay?”

He’s a little shocked at that, maybe he said half of that shit aloud or maybe Dep is just really good at reading people but either way he knows what it means. 

With a smile to each other they grab their gear and start making their way from what he now recognizes as the Jefferson Lookout tower and up into the hills. Sometime off the beaten path it gets a little steep and Dep climbs up the cliff faces first before reaching down to pull Sharky up afterwards. They walk through the forest literally hand in hand and Sharky feels way too overwhelmed by all that’s going on. While they walk, a bear rocks up but it’s preoccupied with a deer and they two crouch down low to remain out of site. Dep has some bait ready to go and his hand dangerously close to his rifle just in case he needs to distract the animal away from them but in the end it runs off. 

Dep doesn’t seem to be in much of a hurry to make it to the radio tower and they spend the whole day just roaming around, hunting animals and they even find a small pond to fish in. At some point he tripped over his own feet and if anyone ever asked it was a tree root or log or whatever but he hit the ground real hard, face first straight into the dirt. Sharky is just slightly embarrassed and turns to face Dep as he pulls his hat firmly over his eyes. 

“Please tell me you didn’t just see my two left feet at play there.” 

Dep huffs out a laugh and kneels down to pull him back to his feet. He’s covered in dirt but Dep does his best to brush it all off. Dep leans forward at an uncomfortable angle so he can see underneath the brim of his hat and smiles when they see each other. The hat gets raised back to sit at it’s normal spot and Dep leans in to kiss the corner of his mouth very faintly. 

Before Sharky even registers it, they’ve walked all day and the sun begins to set again. They did run into a couple peggies and hit a few of their wolf beacons but they end up at a small abandoned cabin. There’s no blood or flies around which is the first good sign but the door has been busted open and the shelves are all open. They do their routine check of a building which they do each time they go somewhere new and make sure it really is abandoned before Sharky goes to make a fire outside. 

Yellow and red burst to life in no time as he lights the fire with ease. Dep comes up behind him with a blanket, presumably from the bed and a can of tinned something. He cracks the can open and places it over the fire so it can warm up, sitting down just slightly behind Sharky so the blanket can cover the both of them. They’ll sleep like this tonight, when they’re out in the open like this it’s just a whole lot easier for them. Somehow the feeling of sleeping in a cabin with the lock broken has always been unsettling for the two of them even before they slept together. So they’ve always slept outside like this and Dep has always given the one blanket to him even though he insisted that Dep could take it sometimes. And just like all the other nights Dep will stay up all night and keep watch while he sleeps only this time he’ll sleep with Dep as his pillow. 

It’s cold outside, especially out in the whitetails and Sharky is beginning to wonder when the first hints of snow will start to seep through. A shiver runs through him and as a result Dep brings him closer, wrapping his arms safely around him. In the distance, there are sounds of wolves howling to the moon as their cries echo and bounce off the mountain ranges. Dep’s fingers flex on instinct and his arms just get ever so tighter around him. Sharky’s got his faces pressed into Dep but he’s still so goddamn cold, his butts out here freezing man. His hand is pulled over by Dep’s hand to underneath his shirt where he feels his warm skin. Dep twitches at the cold naturally but otherwise is unchanged by it. Underneath his palm he can feel scars both old and new littered on Dep’s skin. They’re scars Dep has permanently engraved onto him-some of which could have been preventable if Sharky just tried a little harder, if he just fired his shotgun once more than he had then there’d be less peggies with Dep which meant less injuries. 

Dep could tell that Sharky was getting in his head again so he laced him fingers into his hair and stroked it until Sharky finally drifted off into the night. But he did not miss the way kissed him on the forehead and whispered to him. 

“Go to sleep, I’ll be here with you in the morning.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Super long with a little bit of smut and sadness towards the end.
> 
> sorry for the errors
> 
> hope you enjoy!

A cigarette sits in Sharky’s mouth as he leans back against the leg of the radio tower with his shotgun perched next to him. Smoke blows in his face as the wind picks up on the mountain range. Dep is somewhere hanging by a think blue rope trying to climb the damn thing and despite the cigarette to calm him he’s still so darn nervous. They’re right next to the PIN-KO station and this area of the whitetails are prime targets for helicopter ambushes. Dep is so far up and he were to fall he could break a bone or worse be killed. He fidgets with an old lighter in his hands, a silver one that has a lid and looks like a rectangle. It was one of his firsts lighters from when he was a young teen and besides Hurk fire was his only friend. Sharky’s jitters start to grow and grow the more he fidgets with the lighter. Maybe it’s the cold or feeling way too out in the open. Or maybe it’s the fact that Jacob and his region freak him out more than the others. He’s seen what they do to people up here, it’s harsh and cruel. People die in muddy cages surrounded by prisoners who have been taken from their home. A shiver runs through his spine- don’t think about shit like that Boshaw. What he really misses the good old days when things were officially cult free but there’s no point crying over sour milk or however you say it. 

Out of the corner of his eye Sharky sees Dep land on the ground with a groan. One day Dep is gonna break a knee doing that but for the time being he seems fine even though he just jumped from who knows how high. Sharky stamps out the cigarette with his shoe and snags his shotgun before the two of them begin to make their way down the trail. Dep’s radio crackles to life and Tammys voice comes through from the other side. 

“That’ll do it. Next tower is North-East, it’s on a cliff over looking the hotel. If you’ve got a wing suit nows the time to use it, just try not to crash.” 

Sharky chuckles to himself, the thought of wing suiting half way across the mountain range is a hilarious topic to him, really it is. 

“Hey Dep if ya think i’m gonna zoom through the air on nothing but some fabric between my arms ya can guess again cause my two precious legs ain’t leaving this ground, I’m too young too die.”

They both have a laugh at that, Dep seems content to make their way to the next tower like two normal people anyway, if they were gonna wing suit they would have done it from the first tower. 

Dep leads them to the entrance of the PIN-KO station where they make a pit stop for supplies. Dep reloads all his weapons, makes sure there’s enough medical kits and goes through his routine at any base they stop at. Sharky wanders over to one of the huge satellites and stares out to the view you can see from up here. Sure he’s been nervous throughout the day but just taking a minute to breathe and check out the killer view has steadied him a little more. The air up here is thin and nips at his cheeks from the cold temperatures even in the middle of the day. Goosebumps form on his arms and he pulls the sleeves of his hoodie down. But wow the mountains and the blue skies are truly something else. There are layers of green trees on every peak leading down to the valleys where huge rivers and lakes have formed. Sometimes he can forget that the forests are littered with peggies. 

After some time Dep walks up behind him and places a soft hand on the junction between his neck and shoulder. Sharky can feel Dep’s thumb lightly brush the back of his neck, right where his hair starts and leans back into the touch slightly. They’re well enough out of site that no one would notice a thing and it would seem like an innocent pat to the shoulder. Sharky turns to look at Dep and smiles at him. Dep’s head clocks towards the helipad and gestures for them to get going. 

“Common, it’ll be easier to fly there and besides I know you like getting up in the air.”

It’s goddamn right he likes getting up in the air, Sharky feels totally free whenever he gets the rare chance of getting to fly. He remembers begging for Nick to take him in his plane and to let him fly it but the chance never came and besides he’s got a track record for breaking things he shouldn’t touch. 

They make their way into the helicopter as Dep clicks all the blinkey buttons that make weird noises and suddenly the thing jumps to life. Sharky’s already got his face pressed into the passenger seat window trying to get the biggest view he can, meanwhile Dep is fully concentrated on flying the helicopter safely. There’s a smile way too big and way too strong for anyone to wipe off at this moment. Down below he can see the trees in detail, there’s a heard of deer that are grazing in the canopy before the spook from the noise and dart off. They fly over windy dirt roads and a few hiking trails, none these days are full of hikers but of militia and peggies instead. 

There’s smoke coming from the Grandview hotel and he can see the militia moving in supplies after Dep liberated it. Over on the water they pass a sea plane and begin their accent up a mountain range to reach the second tower. The view is magnificent and Sharky feels like nothing could ruin his day at this point. All the troubles and jitters have left. 

Dep takes his time landing on a flat stretch of dirt road, it’s more dangerous than a landing zone but there’s been reports that peggies are stationed at the next tower and he didn’t want to risk being shot down at such a high altitude. They gear up and begin to mark up each peggie, there’s three close to the helipad and cliff, two on the opposite side of the cabin and four at the base of the tower. Dep points to the three over by the cliff and the two by the cabin. 

“Go get em.”

So he does, Sharky goes in with a round of flaming shotgun ammo and begins to fire. Roasting some peggie ass. He can hear the fire of Dep’s rifle followed by retaliation, no doubt from the peggies. Sharky ducts for cover to reload before taking out the last guy, watching him fall to the ground. Adrenaline rushes through him and leaves him a little wired. He can hear gunfire from up the hill so he runs as fast as he can to reach Dep. When he gets there Dep’s back is to him as he uses a rock for cover, trying to take aim at a peggie. He doesn’t notice a heavily armed guy with a flamethrower coming up behind him. 

That adrenaline kicks in and Sharky doesn’t hesitate to run up behind the guy and cap him in the back with his shotgun. By the time he does it Dep has gotten the other guy down and he’s watching as the peggie with a now reasonable hole in his chest flops to the floor. Their eyes meet and Dep walks over to him, he puts his rifle back into safety mode as he leans forward and places a kiss to his cheek. 

“Thank you.”

Sharky’s eyes go wide as he was no expecting the affectionate gesture at such a time- if not at all. The way Dep says thanks is his usual tone that’s calm and collected but deadly. As if everything is totally normal and he didn’t just kiss him on the cheek. Sharky’s cheeks redden with the action and looks at his feet. 

“Are you hurt?”

He shakes his head, no. Dep nods in return.

The next thing he sees is Dep holds his rifle out for Sharky to take, which he does without a second guess. Dep gets out that questionable blue rope again and throws it so it hooks to the tower and he begins to pull himself up. Sometimes he swears Dep isn’t human. He must be half god or something because first of all Dep can throw that rope and every time it will land right where he wants it on the first go- every time. And secondly because Dep pulls himself up the rope with the smallest amount of effort. His arm muscles stretch against the right Deputies uniform and Sharky does his best not to stare. 

A few minutes go by and then Dep is back on the ground with him, rifle back in his hands and once again the radio cracks to life. This time Tammy says there’s a truck that needs to be ambushed down at one of the main roads. So they get back in the helicopter and make their way down to the road swiftly and quickly. 

The traps get set and Dep goes over to lay down explosives all over the road before they crouch down behind a barrier together. 

There’s nothing for a moment and then one explosions triggers all of them, one after the other. Pieces of car go flying as engines are ripped apart and a ringing goes throughout Sharky’s ears from the explosions. There’s debris shooting out everywhere and Dep’s arm reaches over to cover as much of his body as he can. When it’s all over in a matter of seconds they walk out and see what’s left of the damaged they’ve cause. There’s not much there, that’s for sure. 

They both let out a sigh of relief when Tammy lets them know that their jobs is done and that people at the wolf’s den appreciate their efforts. All the adrenaline has faded for the most of it and now after a day of hard work and near death shoot outs finally catches up to them. It’s late afternoon and so Dep leads them down a trail off the beaten path which takes them to the Grandview hotel. Or what’s left of it. 

The resistance have settled in nicely, stripping down the war posters and doing their best to convert the torture and conditioning rooms to ones that can hold supplies and medical units. They walk inside and some of militia members say hello while others give Dep the space he likes, knowing that if Dep is here to talk about tactics or plans he’ll approach them. Sharky follows behind swiftly when he notices that Dep has stopped in front of what looks like an old fire place with a makeshift second level to it. There’s two large windows above it and looks as if there a platform to walk above it and reach the balcony easier. Dep’s eyes widen as if he’s vulnerable, he’s noticed it’s a trait in Dep. Sharky notices he looks uncomfortable looking at it but can’t place why Dep seems so uncomfortable. He places a hand on Dep’s shoulder which seems to affectively snap him out of wherever Dep’s mind went to. Sharky gives what he hopes is a confirming but gentle squeeze to his shoulder as Dep gives as empty smile in return. 

Some of the rooms here were untouched but the cult, left as normal hotel rooms for lieutenants and other cult officials rather than conditioning rooms. On the top floor they find one that is relatively untouched and place all their weapons and belongings down. Dep walks over to open the large window in the room and fresh air floods the room, he stays by the window as the sunset reflects off the water. He’s just still and Sharky can tell something is off with Dep. 

Sharky goes over and wraps his arms around Dep from behind. He’s much shorter so his head rests in the middle of Dep’s shoulder blades and effectively knocks his hat to the ground in the process. He tightens his arms around his stomach in what’s almost like a bear hug. Sharky hears a soft hum from Dep as he acknowledges what he’s trying to do- comfort him. 

They don’t talk, Sharky feels like now is the wrong time to do so. Instead they just stand like that for a bit. Dep turns around in his hug at some point to return it, as he wraps his arms around Sharky and places a kiss to his forehead. Then Dep kisses his nose and then his lips. 

It’s that soft but uncertain kiss at first, but Sharky tilts his head slightly and they just fall into a rhythm. Dep’s hands sit perfectly against his waist and Sharky’s got his hands twisted in Dep’s hair, running it through his fingers. Sharky backs up as they both make their way to the bed, trying their best to pull clothes off without breaking apart for too long.

Once they’re naked, Sharky nudges Dep towards the bed while Dep goes to sit in the middle with his back against the headboard. Sharky climbs over him to straddle his waist and leans down to kiss Dep again. Sharky can feel Dep’s hands slide from his waist up to his shoulders before back down to the small of his back, leaving a trail of goosebumps and a shiver to run down his spine. Dep bends his head to nibble at his neck, careful not to leave marks where they could be seen. When he gets to the junction of Sharky’s shoulder and neck he bits a little harder and then sucks over a sensitive point. Sharky’s head jerks to the opposite side and he lets out a moan that gets caught in his throat. One hand is placed on Dep’s chest while the other moves from his shoulder to his hair as Dep continues to litter him with kisses and marks. 

It suddenly dawns on Sharky that they don’t have any lube or any protection. Fuck. He taps at Dep’s chest who stops immediately and looks up, thinking he’s done something wrong.

“We don’t have nothing in terms of lube or condoms n’ stuff. What we gonna do?”

Sharky was way too out of breath to really make a proper sentence but he manages regardless. He does notice the tension that leaves Dep a little as his eyes soften. 

“I can think of a thing or two that doesn’t need either of those and is just as good.”

Dep ends his slightly playful sentence with a kiss that’s open mouthed and heavy. Sharky is too wound up in the sensation of Dep’s tongue in his mouth, mixing with his own to notice when Dep maneuvers his hips slightly so he’s sitting with his weight on Dep’s thighs. What he does notice is the way Dep takes his dick into his and and begins to stroke to fully erect. It’s just a tad too dry but Dep swipes his thumb into the slit and precum leaks out from the head, making the next slide of his hand smoother. A loud moan leaves Sharky’s mouth and gets swallowed immediately as Dep kisses him harder. 

Dep pulls away from his mouth after a few minutes and lifts the hand that’s been on his dick, raising three fingers to Sharky’s lips. 

Sharky opens his mouth eagerly and sucks on the digits, doing his best to get all three in his mouth without making too much of a mess. He can taste himself on Dep’s fingers, the underlying saltiness that sits on his tongue. There’s spit leaking down his chin and Dep’s other hand goes to play with Sharky’s left nipple. A moan vibrates on Dep’s fingers as Sharky is flooded with a hot flush and a shiver that settles in his gut. 

When Dep is done he pulls his fingers out and reaches down to take Sharky’s and his own dicks into his hand. The moment Sharky feels the slide of Dep’s dick against his own mixed with his spit from Dep’s hand has him thrusting into his hand without warning. 

“Oh~”

Sharky is slightly confused by what his body is feeling, he’s never thought if two dicks sliding and rubbing together could feel good. But is does feel good and he’s just so overwhelmed by it all.

Dep leans in to kiss him again as he picks up the pace and the two of them slide against one another tryin to find their release. Moans and groans spill out of the both of them but it’s Sharky that buckles first, the feeling in his gut bubble until it spilled over the top and his orgasm came rolling through. He white out for a second, chasing that perfect feeling until he starts to go limp and heavy in Dep’s arms. He comes back to it just as Dep himself rolls over the edge with a deep groan. He wraps an arm around Sharky’s waist and pulls him forward as he strokes himself until he’s finally done. 

Afterwards they lay in bed together, the sun has long since been gone and the window offers a cool breeze in the room. Sharky has his head tucked on Dep’s chest and is outlining the edges of Dep’s muscles. Dep on the other hand is lying on his back with one arm draped over Sharky as he stares at the ceiling. It’s Sharky how breaks the silence first.

“Did y’know that Grandview was where I was conceived?”

Dep turns his head to look at sharky in that questionable but totally smitten way he does. 

“Yeah, it’s something of a miracle actually cause my dad had on a condom and my momma she was on the pill so i’m something of a miracle.”

Dep has a little chuckle at Sharky’s enthusiasm but then he feels Sharky’s hand stop against his chest and the room feels awfully heavy for a sudden change.

“Well they didn’t call me than n’ such, it’s just miracle sounds better than unwanted...”

Sharky trails off on the last part and tries to lean into Dep more, he gets like this sometimes. Just in his head and the thoughts are never good. Dep can feel his desperation and gently moves Sharky so he’s properly lying on top of him, with his head against his chest and strokes his hair.

“Talk to me.”

It’s all Dep says but it’s all he needs to say. Sharky just lets it all go.

“My parents didn’t want me, that much was clear- heck they even told me on the rare occasion. My momma and dad were always fighting, and well- well I just kinda got caught in the middle of it. There were some nights where I’d have to clean up broken glass and patch up either one of them. They were always unhappy and told me it was my fault, that I was their mistake and that I made them miserable. That I was the reason my dad was a drunk and my momma an addict.”

Sharky’s hand was now holding firmly onto Dep like he was scared to be let go of. 

“It wasn’t all bad, Hurk did his best to care for me, took me out and tried to teach me things from all the books he read n’ stuff and he’s my best friend. Even Addie helped me out too, she wasn’t there all the time but she loves me like Hurk does and they’re what family should be y’know? But I remember one day I came home and my momma had overdosed in the bathroom on somethin’ and well after that my dad took off somewhere. That was around the time Senior and Addie got divorced and Hurk left for a while. I was so alone then, I was already making trouble for myself, burnt down the roller rink and dropped out of school but those couple of months were the worst...”

Sharky cuts himself off as his throat catches and his eyes water, there’s just a general feeling of emptiness and loneliness that he remembers and it’s all flooding back. Dep can feel his breathing getting heavier and is quick to move. He sits up and holds Sharky’s face in his hands, wiping away at the stray tear on his cheek. He begins to rub slow circles over his cheek bone as he does his best to comfort him. 

“I’m so sorry, I can’t imagine what that was like for you. But I want you to know there’s people who care about you okay? Hurk and Addie care so much for you, the first time I met your cousin he spoke so highly of you, he loves you so much. And don’t forget about me, I can’t change the past but I promise I will do everything that I can to protect you because I care for you and I’m right here with you.”

It’s probably the longest Sharky has ever heard Dep talk but he’s so happy that it’s for him. Dep’s right, people do care about him and they’re family- Dep included. He slows his breathing down in time to the back and forward motion of Dep’s thumb on his cheek as he leans onto him heavily.

Dep brings them back down to the bed and gets Sharky to lie back down with his head on his chest. Dep’s arms sit protectively over his shoulders and his leaves a lingering kiss to his forehead.

Sharky falls asleep that night feeling more loved than he has in a long time.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I really enjoyed writing this chapter, heads up at the end there’s a song that’s played in Far Cry that I used and it’s a very beautiful song called “Hard Times” please go listen to it or try to find it because it’s very charming and I feel like it suits the Deputy and Sharky so much.
> 
> Enjoy :)

They wake up well before dawn the next day. Sharky feels tired getting up this early and his body protests as he lugs himself into a car, promptly resting his head against the window and drifting back off to sleep throughout the drive. The clock on the car reads 7AM as they arrive to the front of what is the remains of John’s bunker. There are cars parked all over the place with four large white trucks in the middle of them. Sharky can see a group of people huddled around a makeshift table all talking with one another. 

Before Dep gets out of the car he places a soft hand against Sharky’s thigh and squeezes it just ever so slightly. When they reach the group of people Sharky clearly recognizes who stands there. Pastor Jerome and Mary May are talking to one another and looking at lists and random pieces of paper while Grace marks out routes on a large map in the centre of them all. Adelaide and Nick seem to be going over flying techniques and which radios they’ll be using to talk. Dep goes to join Grace and Sharky can hear him groan in affirmation when people fill Dep in on the situation, waiting for his approval of plans. 

Sharky can hear Deputy Hudson yelling out orders and he makes his way around to the back of the trucks. There is about thirty people, both milita and resistance who are filling the trucks with the supplies and weapons that made it after the explosion when Dep destroyed the bunker. 

He moves back over to the group as everyone quiets down for Dep to give out orders. 

“We’re gonna distribute the resources, there are four trucks filled with supplies, food, weapons, ammunition and medicine. The first will go to Falls End, nice and easy- peggies have mostly left the Valley now. Shouldn’t expect to see more than a few roadblocks. The second and third will go to the Henbane, it’s the largest region and more people are going to benefit seeing as Faith still orders regular attacks in this region. I want one truck at the Jail and the next will follow the main road to the Marina where it will be guarded. From there, I want the last truck to go into the Mountains at the Wolf’s Den. This will be the hardest point as we know the peggies in this region are more violent and more likely to hit this truck more than any others so I want two cars in front and behind for this one.”

This must be some serious shit, Sharky thinks to himself. Dep is serious and to the point but he’s talking and everyone seems a little on edge. He moves his hands along the map to show routes and points to potential areas of risk. Grace steps up and takes over from there as Dep nods at her. 

“Alright you heard him, there will be a total of ten cars on the road, I want every mounted gun to be occupied with full ammo and there will be four people per car. One car in front and behind of the truck except for the last one which has two. Nick you’ll be flying over the truck headed to the Whitetails, meanwhile Adelaide will escort the two through the Henbane. There needs to be three guards inside the actual trucks incase an ambush makes it through the convoys. Once the trucks have arrived safely, use station one to confirm on the radio and then distribute each of the resources according to folks that need it. This is serious people, get your head in the game and remember stay focused on the road.”

Everyone gives a hoo-rah in affirmation and makes their way to either a car or truck, each with their weapon of choice in hand. Sharky reaches for his shotgun but goes to stand behind Dep instead who is talking to Nick.

“I’ve sent a car with baby supplies and anything else you might need in a separate car, it’ll be waiting for you at Fall’s End. Talk to Pastor Jerome, it’s locked in the garage.”

The way Nick looks at Dep almost makes Sharky jealous if he totally didn’t understand where Nick was coming from. There’s nothing but admiration and respect in his eyes. The Rye’s have had everything taken away from them and it’s scary enough becoming a parent but having your supplies stolen and your family threatened is a whole other level, not that Sharky is a parent or nothing but Dep is nothing but a hero to everyone and his good will gives everyone hope.

“Thanks partner.”

Dep and Nick exchange a hug and a pat on the back before Nick walks away to assumingely start up his plane. Dep turns to him and smiles that worried smile, when he’s happy but there’s never a situation where Dep feels safe enough to let his guard down for long. He cocks his head towards one of the trucks and gestures for Sharky to follow.

A man in milita clothing who Sharky has never seen before gets onto the mounted gun and a woman also in a milita uniform gets into the drivers seat. Dep gets into the passenger seat and Sharky takes the back, sitting in the middle to have a clear view in front of him. 

Engines roar to life as cars and trucks make their way down the windy dirt road, leaving dust in their trails. One by one people confirm their status over the radio and do so every ten minutes. The convoy splits up at the intersection of the gas station near Falls End. Two trucks drive straight towards the Fertilizer Co. while the other turns into the town of Fall’s End.

The car they’re in turns towards the pumpkin farm and Sharky can feel the nerves start to come in, he turns around only to see that the other cars and trucks are following behind like schedule. It makes him feel nervous even more, a pang in his stomach that tells him something is going to go horribly wrong. He taps at his shotgun, restlessly tapping against the wood as his heart rate picks up. Dep finds his eyes in the rear view mirror and his eyes soften for a second. It’s such a small action yet it does the trick in just calming Sharky down just enough to stop tapping. When they reach the bridge Dep’s fingers flex over the trigger of his rifle and he sits up straighter. He remembers when Dep told him about the car crash into the lake when all this started, he told him bridges are where you are more likely to be hit because you’re vulnerable from every angle. 

Luckily they don’t get any hits on the bridge but there’s a dramatic shift between the Holland Valley and the Whitetail Mountains. Almost instantly, at the park entrance there are Peggies trying to gun them down, Dep and the mounted gun making swift work of the cars and everyone inside it. It’s like that all the way through the mountains, Nick flys in real close to take out any cars but can’t bomb anyone in fear of hitting the truck. 

They start to get low on ammunition in the car and it seems as if everyone is just making it up as they go. Its goddamn chaotic. Bullets go flying and Dep is hanging halfway out the window trying to get a better shot. Sharky has had to switch to his handgun after running out of shotgun shells a while ago.

A bullet goes straight through the windshield and hits the shoulder of the woman driving. Her foot hits the breaks and Dep who was inside the car reloading jolts forward and slams his left temple and the side on his head straight into broken glass. Blood runs down into his eye but he keeps on shooting, doing his best to take out more peggies.

At some point Dep cracks his radio to life, breathing heavily and wiping blood out of his face with the back of his hand. He holds the radio close to his mouth as he struggles to keep his head up.

“Redirect the route through to the back entrance of the Den.”

Sharky knows the back way, you get there via a small and thin dirt road that small cars can barely drive on little alone trucks and four wheel drives. 

Someone responds quickly, Sharky assumes its the driver of the truck.

“Will we fit through there?”

He asks the same questions everyone is thinking. Dep physically groans in pain knowing that it’s somewhat true that these kinds of vehicles can’t make that path.

“Don’t have a choice, we won’t make another mile if we don’t get off the main roads...”

Dep struggles to get the words out as he slumps in his seat and tries to stay level headed. He must have hit his head bad, Sharky’s panic gets worse as he looks at Dep’s condition.

“Ten Four.” Is the reply from the radio.

Off the main roads they manage to get the trucks up the hill. They have the time to slow down as they lose the peggies and can carefully make their way up the steep road.

When they arrive, everyone from the trip is exhausted and all the adrenaline from fighting leaves as Sharky gets the urge to crash and sleep forever.

He’s unbelievably tried but he makes his way over to Dep who is leaning heavily on the side of the car. Sharky hadn’t noticed it in the car before but Dep has several cuts from glass over his shoulder and arm as well as a bullet wound through his bicep. 

Dep is still healing from old injuries little alone the new ones he gets almost every other day. He softly reaches out to Dep, placing a careful hand on his elbow. He gets waved off like he doesn’t need the help but when Dep registers who is trying to help him he lets out a groan of pain and rests back against him for support.

Sharky can see Hurk on top of the hill helping out the milita and he shouts for him to come over. Dep winces and Sharky realizes he yelled directly at Dep’s ear and whispers a small apology. His lip brushes Dep’s ear but it’s so small and everyone is too busy to notice.

Hurk rushes over in excitement until he sees the worried look on his cousins face and then sees the state of the Deputy.

“Well dang, look at you too hero’s, seems like it was a rough ride over, we should get y’all cleaned up before we do any celebratin’ and drinkin’ for these well earned victories and such.”

Hurk always knows how to lighten up a bad mood with his charm and his jokes that can make people smile in these kinds of situations. It’s one of the reasons why Sharky idolizes him so much, the way he can make people relax. The two of them work in assisting Dep into a place where they can take a proper look at him. Sharky gently sits a wobbly Dep on the back lip of the car while Hurk goes to grab a medical kit nearby. Dep leans forward so his forehead rests on Sharky’s stomach and he tries to get his breathing in check. He notices the blood on Dep’s face has dried somewhat against his temple and gone crusty in his hair- he’ll want a shower later on.

Hurk returns with the yellow aid kit, a bottle of water, rubbing alcohol and a cloth. Sharky cracks the bottle open first and pours a mixture of water and alcohol onto the cloth, using it to wipe the blood from Dep’s brow and hands the rest of the water for him to drink.

Dep winces as the cloth cleans out the wound, he grits his teeth in a way that Sharky now realizes means Dep doesn’t want to show he’s in pain. Dep leans back and tries to move his head away from the cloth but Sharky just shakes his head and places his hand under his chin to hold him steady. 

Hurk does his best to untangle a packet of bandages to hand to Sharky as he notices the extremely worried but focused look his little cousin has on his face right now. He does his best to ignore the fact that there seems to be a intimate between moment between his best bro and the Deputy of Hope County, deciding the most interesting thing right now is the dirt he kicks under his foot.

Once the blood from Dep’s face has mostly been cleared up, Sharky takes the bandages from Hurk and begins to wrap them over the more deeper cuts on his arm. He uses the cloth once more to wipe the dirt that surrounds Dep’s shoulder and it should hopefully stop an infection from spreading to any wounds. The last thing Dep needs is to lose an arm.

The bullet wound is different though, it’s red and torn the skin straight through Dep’s bicep but from what Sharky can see it’s missed the bone which is a good sign. He pours more alcohol onto the cloth but the wound is too delicate to touch and Dep naturally pulls away from the stinging in his arm. A fresh gush of blood starts to flow and Dep’s other hand goes to cover it in an attempt to stop the bleeding.

“You’re gonna need stitches, that wound is real bad”

Sharky would crack a joke or two in there if he thought Dep was in a more stable condition. His teeth are still gritted and he’s swaying slightly as he looks light headed and pale. Dep shakes his head and tries to wave it off as if he doesn’t have a head injury and his arm isn’t bleeding like crazy.

“Gotta check in with Wheaty, he wanted to check in with me about finding some supplies in cabins.”

Sharky huffs out a breath like Dep is just going to stand up and be brand new all over again. 

“No way in hell are you going anywhere lookin’ like that. No way”

It feels weird ordering Dep around, he’s usually the one taking orders and following directions but he plants his foot a little on the ground triumphantly. This time Dep will listen to him. He will for his own goddamn safety because Sharky won’t sit here and let Dep hurt himself further. He feels Hurk place a hand on his shoulder and turns to see his older cousin smiling at the situation.

“Bro you ain’t gotta stress about any of that, I’ll use all my people skills to talk to Wheaty and you just let my little cuz take care of ya.”

Hurk gives a nod before making his way up the hill to the entrance of the Den. Its then that Sharky turns to smile at Dep and he can see him physically relax, his shoulders slump and he lets out a deep breath. It’s not that Dep is nervous around Hurk- that’s not the case at all, the three of them hang all the time for missions but now it’s just the two of them. Sure there are people around but no one is looking long enough. Sharky seems to be the only person who Dep lets his guard down around. He’s been Dep’s partner through enough of this war to know that yes Dep trusts people, puts his life in their hands and helps out anyone and everyone who needs help. But he only ever lets his guard down when it’s just them, their little bubble. 

Sharky makes his way over to the medical kit Hurk left and takes out surgical thread and a needle. He sits next to Dep on the lip of the car and faces him for a more comfortable position.

It takes him about half an hour to finish stitching Dep back together but Sharky has had his own experiences with needing stitches so he has something to go off at least. It’s not the neatest repair and it’s sort of wonky and off centre but it’ll have to do. From there, they spend the rest of the day watching over the distribution of the trucks resources. Under Sharky’s request, Dep doesn’t do much but rest for the day but Sharky helps lug crates of ammunition and boxes of canned food out of the truck and either into smaller cars or inside the Wolf’s Den.

It’s late afternoon by the time they finish up and Sharky makes his way over to the back of the car he left Dep on. Yet he’s not where he left him and his face scrunches in frustration as Dep has moved.

Turns out Dep didn’t move far as he finds him in the back seat of the car, lying across the seats on his back. Both doors have been left open as Dep doesn’t really fit in the small space, his feet hang out on the opposite end, but his head is rested perfectly under his good arm. Dep looks so peaceful in his sleep, you’d never tell he was the cold calculated machine he’s known as on the battlefield and around town. He notices the bruises on Dep’s body, the cuts along his face and he can see his eye bags and just how exhausted he looks. Dep must really be tired to sleep around so many people, so out in the open like this. 

No one would blame him though, Dep is the hero and not one person here has said thank you for it. Of course he’s tired, the entire County asks one person for help and he’s expected to just do it without argue. Dep does of course, it’s the good in him, always gotta help others even if it’s gets him killed. Its one of Dep’s best qualities but sometimes the hero is allowed to take a break if it means they’ll stay alive. Dep doesn’t let people in, he just bottles in his opinions, feelings and emotions while he takes down peggie after peggie trying to save the County. Nobody understands the extent of what Dep has to go through, not even Sharky himself, although he’s probably the closest one to know and an enormous sense of pride rushes through him. 

So Sharky lets Dep sleep for the time being, watching over him and making sure he’s okay. People give him stares from time to time but it’s nothing he can’t handle. It’s not like anybody gave a shit until he started hanging with the Deputy. 

Hurk comes back down from the hill to announce that there’s gonna be a little celebration at Addie’s marina tonight as a victory. They pack up their stuff and Sharky leans over Dep to nudge him gently against his chest.

“Hey Po-Po, you gotta wake up now. We’re driving down to Addie’s so I gotta close up these doors.”

Sharky does his best to speak softly, he brushes his fingers over Dep’s slightly sweaty forehead but he doesn’t feel a fever yet which is a good sign of no infections. Dep’s eyes stir open and he’s greeted with the sight of an upside down Sharky above him. He smiles softly and Sharky can hear him laugh a little before he helps him to sit up and then closes the door for him like a gentlemen.

Hurk starts up the car and turns on some tunes for the trip as Sharky sits next to Dep in the back. 

When they arrive there’s heaps of people putting up lights, there’s tables of food and drinks in the cooler. He can see Pastor Jerome and Mary May, as well as most of the people from this morning plus Xander, Kim Rye and Sheriff Whitehorse. Most people are in groups having conversations, some are sitting in chairs around fire pits and others are huddled near the docks. When Dep gets out of the car, people clap and cheer like he’s some celebrity but he just merely shakes his head. Pastor Jerome steps forward with a beer in his hand raised towards the sky.

“Here is to the Deputy, for restoring hope to the good people of this County, for liberating us from John and his horrid ways. Thank you Deputy, may God bless you but for now, come and relax amongst friends.”

Everyone gives a cheer and takes a sip from their drinks, smiles are everywhere and the atmosphere is light and airy. Pastor Jerome proved him wrong, everybody here is celebrating Dep’s hard work. It’s nice to know that each time Dep puts his life at risk they’re thankful for what he does. 

When Dep looks at him it’s clear he doesn’t know how to take the compliment and praises but Sharky just gives him a thumbs up and the biggest smile he can muster.

For the next couple of hours he drinks with Hurk and gets to talking with Addie about her plans for the marina and he told her how much he couldn’t wait to see it. There was once a time where Sharky didn’t quite understand what he felt for Addie, it was a weird time for everyone but now he realizes that she is family and just like Hurk she has always been there for him. He loves her with everything he has and they’ve gotten close in the last couple of years, especially after she met Xander. He’s been a really nice addition to the family, he’s so chill and down to earth with everyone and everything but most importantly he makes Addie happy so both Sharky and Hurk think he’s the bees knees. 

And then there’s Dep, the newest addition to his family. He knew from the moment they first met that they’d be friends. Mostly because he didn’t run away in fear of him but he’d never guess that Dep would mean so much more to him than that. Dep is family now and Sharky swears he’s gonna do everything in his power to keep Dep in his life.

It’s nighttime now and the last remaining people from the party sit around a small fire, listening to the sounds of fire cracking and the forests. There’s a crispness in the air that makes people huddle for warmth. Beside him sits an empty plate of food that he shared with Dep and he’s got his head resting on Dep’s shoulder.

One man leans over to pick up the guitar sitting on the ground and he begins to play a small tune, humming and singing quietly.

_Let us pause in life's pleasures and count its many tears  
While we all sup sorrow with the poor  
There's a song that will linger forever in our ears  
Oh Hard times come again no more_

It’s dark around them besides from the dull glow of the fire. The light from the moon can only be seen from the reflection of the river.

_Tis the song, the sigh of the weary  
Hard times, hard times, come again no more_

A cold wind blows off the trees and down around them, Sharky does his best to huddle in closer to Dep- almost forgetting everyone around them. Dep smiles and leans his head to rest against his own as they watch the flames dance together.

_Many days you have lingered around my cabin door  
Oh hard times come again no more_

Concealed under the cover of darkness, Sharky risks it and snakes his and to tangle into Dep’s own. Trying his best not to move too much or cause any movements. But Dep’s hand locks in his nonetheless, as if it was always meant to be there.

_While we seek mirth and beauty and music bright and gay  
There are frail forms fainting at the door  
Though their voices are silent, their pleading looks will say  
Oh hard times come again no more_

Dep’s thumb traces soft circles over the back of his hand, moving in rhythm with the melody of the guitar. A warmth floods him as he realizes just how at peace he feels in this moment.

_Tis the song, the sigh of the weary  
Hard times, hard times, come again no more_

Dep turns his head just ever so slightly and places the softest kiss against his forehead. Sharky could barely feel it but it still had the same calming affect on him.

_Many days you have lingered around my cabin door  
Oh hard times come again no more_

The song slowly drifts out but Sharky has his eyes closed as he leans into Dep and feels like he could fall asleep. If people asked about it tomorrow why he got all cuddly he’d say he drank too much but right now he just leaned up against Dep and let himself feel this good in a long time. He’s just barely awake when he hears the next words whispered to him.

“I love you.”

Maybe he is dreaming it, but Sharky smiles and relaxes onto Dep as sleep takes him.

What he doesn’t notice is that Addie saw the entire thing from the sheds and she smiles to herself as she packs the leftover food away.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This took me longer than I expected and it’s not my best but I enjoyed writing it and I hope you enjoy reading it.

They’ve been working through countless requests from the Milita for around a week since their victory across the county. Getting those supplies has boosted the spirits of the resistance in every region. Sharky has noticed more of the armed militia cars driving around and the increasing fighting. It seems like everywhere they go there’s another shoot out or attack from either side. But they’re so close to beating Jacob, he can feel it. 

The ground is damp underneath his sneakers as they trek through the forest. Dep is walking two steps ahead of him, his rifle resting comfortably in his hands. It’s fairly dark down in the canopy of the forest, most of the sunlight is blocked from the trees and there are streaks of green leaves all around him. Hope County truly is beautiful, it’s home and it’s times like this where he remembers just exactly what it is he’s fighting for. Unlike Sharky though, Dep is careful not to let his mind wander, he seems incredibly on edge but Sharky just assumed it was because of all the predators that live amongst the forest and you can never tell until there’s a cougar clawing at your throat. 

Sharky notices the sweat on his brow, the way his shoulders are tense and the way his spine is ridged and straight, like a cat caught in the headlights. Before Sharky can really do anything about it Dep stops dead in his tracks and throws his hands to his head like he’s in pain. His rifle falls to the ground in the process and he struggles to keep his balance. Sharky panics and leaps forward to steady Dep, a hand on his shoulder as he stops Dep from falling completely. 

Dep’s face is screwed tight, his brows coming together tightly and he grits his teeth. When Dep opens his eyes they’re foggy and glazed as he blinks furiously to try to stop the pain. Sharky doesn’t understand what’s happening or how to deal with the problem. He places his hand on the back of Dep’s neck to get a better look at him but theres a firm hand against his chest. 

Dep is still unsteady on his feet and he tries to push the pain down to focus on Sharky who is in front of him. 

“You need to get out of here right now. S’not safe.”

Dep struggles on every word but it’s still the same confident and cold tone he always uses. Sharky realizes it’s an order, like hell he’s going to listen to it. 

“I ain’t just gonna leave you here with a cracking headache. Don’t be stupid.” 

Dep is not stupid, he’s never once made a bad decision. Well maybe he has but Sharky sees him as a hero regardless. But it’s what he doesn’t like about this right now. Dep is almost always in the right about decision making and he knows he should listen because nine times out of ten it’s for the safety of Sharky but rarely does Dep think about himself in these choices. 

Dep shakes his head and pushes at his chest just a little harder. It’s not a rough push but it’s got just enough force in it so Sharky understands he’s not in the mood for jokes or pointless discussions.

“Jacob- Chosen will be here and he’s going to hurt... please go.”

Dep couldn’t get the sentence out straight but Sharky got the message. Jacob, peggies and trouble are coming their way. But why can’t Dep come with him? There’s no way he can fight them off in his condition, he can barely walk. Dep isn’t budging however and he quickly ends all possibility of talking things through.

Sharky hears the sound of quad bike engines and gunfire. They ducks down low and he holds his shotgun close. Besides him, Dep pushes him back towards the way they came. 

“Run.”

He does and his stomach sinks as he realizes he just left Dep there. He turns around for a second and sees Dep hit the floor before being surrounded by peggies. He should go back, but there’s too many of them and he knows that he won’t stand a chance against them. He runs as fast as his legs can carry him which to be fair isn’t that quickly but he’s panicking just slightly so he makes up for it. When a main road appears he gets into the nearest car which is a tacky yellow sedan with blood throughout the interior and the words sinner carved into the front of it. There’s smoke coming from the engine and it barely runs but he rushes to his Aunt’s Marina. 

When he gets there, Hurk is sitting at a table cleaning his hand gun when he hears Sharky pull up. He beams at the sight of his cousin and goes in for a bro hug but is cut short but the rushed and frantic voice of Sharky. 

“Dep’s been taken by the peggies, they have him in the Whitetails, we have to go help him. Now.”

Sharky is breathing heavily and he’s jittery as if he can’t stop talking or something bad will happen. Hurk’s hands go up in a calming manner, like he’s trying not to spook a wounded animal. 

“Woah, slow down little cuz let’s think it through for a sec. What happened and where did it go down?”

Sharky takes a second to control his breathing, he’s hunched forward with his hands on his needs taking deep breaths. Hurk places a hand on his shoulder in a comforting manner knowing that his cousin and best pal is in distress. When Sharky can make a clear decision he straightens up and tries to remain calm. 

“We were walkin’ through the Whitetails, I think it was near Ol’Elliots house but I ain’t sure of it. Dep was out of it for some reason, I dunno what it was but it looked like his head was hurtin’ but before I could do anything we got jumped by peggies and Dep was caught.”

Hurk’s hand was still on his shoulder and it comforted Sharky slightly from the support it gave him. 

“Well shoot little cuz, let’s go get him back. Can’t have them peggies hurtin’ people now can we? It ain’t right.”

Sharky smiled at how Hurk could lighten the mood even at a time like this, he truly admired that. Sometimes he wished he could read a room like his cousin and just know all the right things to say. Hurk picked up his handgun and placed it back on his belt before standing up to address the resistance members scattered around the Marina.

“Listen up y’all, the Deputy has been taken up in the Whitetails so I need ya to come help find him.”

Everyone perks up when they realize Hurk isn’t just making another crazy announcement like usual, but that it’s serious and one of their own needs help. Hurk goes over to talk details with a few other heavily armed dudes when a hand gently taps him on the arm. 

It’s his Aunt Addie and instead on her usual flirtatious and joking tone, her face is full of empathy and her face is soft.

“Common, how about you and me take Tulip for a ride. See if we can see him from the air.”

She gives Sharky this look like she can feel the panic radiating from him. Maybe he’s not subtle about it but it’s the least of his worries. He smiles at her and nods. Recently he’s become a lot closer with Hurk and Addie-hell even Xander, not just over the peggie war but they all seem to have reconnected and been there for each other a little more, sure it’s not perfect but they always support each other when somethings wrong. Ever since Addie divorces Senior and Hurk returned from his trips, they’ve all come back changed people and it’s been for the better, Sharky has really enjoyed having his family back.

They make their way to the helicopter pad when Addie yells over to Xander who is trying to meditate with his leg in the air. Sharky never understood yoga. 

“Xander honey, could ya be a doll and radio the milita for us? Let em know we’re coming and could use some back up in finding Dep.”

Sharky hears a faint reply before he’s sitting in the helicopter and fixing on a headset. Addie sits in next to him and flicks all sorts of buttons and switches, the engine slowly coming to life. Before they lift off, Addie turns towards him with the same soft and sympathetic tone.

“I’ve seen the way you two look at each other, I’m not stupid- I know what you two have without needing to know the details.  
I’m so glad that you have each other, he makes you happy and I can see that. I’m proud of you honey. Now I want you to just sit back okay? We’ll find him soon enough.”

In the end her hand ends up placed on his shoulder, similar to the way Hurk did. You could tell they’re related just by their comforting gestures, both have that ability to just know what to say at the right time. Addie can sense that he’s still down about the situation and decides to bring her flirtatious charm back.

“I must say, me and possibly ever other guy and girl in Hope County is jealous of you right now. I mean look at him- he’s a keeper for sure with an ass like that!”

Sharky crackles at his Aunts enthusiasm, he’s knows she’s joking of course and it’s just a nice way to take his mind off the stress of the moment. He notices the way Addie’s accent gets slightly thicker, turning almost southern when she turns to playful jokes.

They spend the next five hours in the helicopter, radioing in with Milita groups and Hurk every so often. 

There’s no sign of Dep.

Usually when Sharky flies in a helicopter he’s staring at the view and in total awe of the experience, but right now he wishes he was on the ground, with Dep- safe, warm and miles away from any goddamn peggies that want to hurt them. The sun left some time ago which as made searching that much harder, the spotlight from the helicopter can only do so much.

Boulders and broken trees make it hard to tell what exactly he’s looking at, the thick forest is the haystack and Dep is his goddamn needle. The wildlife are even worse, every jump of a Deer through an opening and the wolves that run through the valleys are shadows that play tricks on Sharky’s mind. Every time the forest moves, his heart skips a beat at the possibility that it might be Dep.

Eventually they have to stop and call it a night, firstly because they’re low on fuel and Tulip needs maintenance anyway since they peggies fucked with her mechanics and secondly because it’s risky to fly in the mountains both from the terrain and attacks from the peggies. 

Sharky sighs in defeat when his feet touch the ground at the Marina again. Dep is still out there and Sharky can only blame himself. Addie brings him into her own house at the Marina, there’s a spare bedroom where she offers for him to stay the night, promising that they’ll go out first thing tomorrow to keep looking.

He makes his way to the bed and falls face first into the covers. That’s when all the stress from the day finally catches up to him and he can no longer hold anything back. His hands tighten in the covers as he clings to it for support. His eyes get watery and the image of Dep surrounded by peggies, bleeding out onto the ground alone and scared has him letting out a small sob. He knows Dep isn’t alone in the wild, they checked all over and besides he saw the peggies standing over Dep. He can only imagine what they’re doing to him now, if anything Dep has told him about Jacob is true.

He lets go of the covers, flattens it out as best he can and rubs circles into the crease he made there. The moonlight shines through the window onto his face and he pictures Dep lying beside him. In Sharky’s opinion, Dep always looked the best when it was nighttime. It was dark enough that his scars were covered, all the trauma and the pain was gone but he still glowed in the soft moonlight and it makes him feel like sometimes there is no war and it’s just him and Dep together, like nothing bad would happen.

But Dep isn’t here, he’s probably rotting in some cage in a training facility and Sharky is just lying here. The tears swell in his eyes again and it goes like that back and forth between bittersweet memories and fantasies to the guilty and saddened feeling of Dep still being captured.

There is a soft knock on the door and it opens gently but Sharky doesn’t lift his head to see who it is, there is only three people who are allowed in Addies private house and that is Addie herself, Hurk and Xander. He figures out its Hurk quickly when he sits down on the opposite side of the bed in front of him, blocking the light from the window. 

“Hey little cuz, I bought dinner for ya. Figured you weren’t in a people kind of mood seeing how things are turning out but ya still gotta eat dinner so here ya go.”

Hurk places a plate of food on the bedside table that Sharky knows he’s not in the mood for right now. Hurk however makes no move to give it to him other than leaving it and he places a hand on his back.

Hurk doesn’t say anything, he doesn’t have too. Sharky remembers when he was a kid and Hurk was a teenager, nearly an adult when he used to take care of him. He practically raised him, teaching him how to do all these cool and slight illegal things but nonetheless Hurk always sat with him when he was down about his parents or when they were so intoxicated that Sharky spent the night crying into Hurk’s shoulder. 

Hurk has always understood him and never once did he make Sharky feel like he couldn’t talk to him about anything.

“I just left him there Hurk.”

Hurk’s hand gives him a light squeeze like he doesn’t like where this is going and he’s trying to stop it.

“Hey common now, ya can’t blame yourself for that.”

Sharky shakes his head and huffs out a bitter laugh.

“It’s true, Dep’s head was hurtin’ and then he told me to leave and I ran out of there, I left him to be captured- what if they kill him?”

Hurk just shakes his head and pulls him into one of his famous bear hugs.

“You’re talkin’ nonsense little cuz, first off the Deputy is one of the smartest dudes out there, besides you and me- Oh and the Monkey King. That guy can handle himself out there, I’ve seen it first hand what he can do, we both have so don’t go doubting him so quickly. Second of all if he asked ya to leave it’s because he cares and he didn’t want ya to be taken with him. He’s one of those selfless hero’s who are few and far between to find. I’ve been lucky enough to meet a few so remind me to thank him cause I dunno what I’d do if they took my little cuz too.”

Hurk pulled him even closer if that was possible and Sharky knew there was no arguing with Hurk, that he was right.

“Now move over for me, I think us two dudes have had enough for one day.”

Sharky moves over on the bed to make room for Hurk, taking the time to kick his shoes off and get under the covers properly. He drifts off to sleep with his head on Hurk’s shoulder as he tells him a story from Kyrat and a legendary warrior named Ajay who Hurk says is similar to Dep as they’re both the savior of the people and they’re both hero’s.

Sharky doesn’t quite remember much else as sleep takes him over.

~

Thirteen days pass and there’s still no sign of Dep. Sharky feels absolutely sick to his stomach as he fears the worst. They’ve searched every day non stop. Addie even called in Nick to search high into the mountains but nothing came out of it. 

Sharky did his best to busy himself with jobs around the Marina when they weren’t looking for Dep which had both Hurk and Addie worried as they never saw him take a break, just knowing what was going through his head. 

Oh and don’t start on the amount of cigarettes he’s burnt through. He tried to ration them because they’re in short supply from the cult stealing every cargo truck that comes into the Valley but that all flew out the window in the last couple of Days as he fills himself with guilt and dispare. 

Part of him already believes that Dep is dead. Surely he would have heard something even if it was just an explosion or a report of a peggie base being attacked over the radio. But there was nothing. 

He’s sitting out on the Docks, doing his best to repair broken wood and any damages to the support structures when suddenly there’s all sorts of talk amongst the resistance coming from behind him. He perks up, maybe they found Dep. There’s hope pooling in his stomach and it had Sharky leaping up and heading over to the group.

As he gets closer he can see a woman crying, people look either distraught or sad and the hope he had dwindled away within seconds. The news he gets from Addie however is unexpected but no less sad.

“Eli was found shot dead in the Wolf’s Den last night.”

Addie looks at the ground and there’s an eerie silence over the group. One of the milita that had been here was fuming and outraged rather than solemn like the rest.

“There’s been a rat, someone must have told those fucking peggies where we were hold up. Or worse they themselves killed him. Why would someone do that? One of our own? Why?”

He was talking to no one in particular and kicked the dirt in frustration because no one had an answer for him. Sharky didn’t quite know what to say, he didn’t know Eli that well but he was a good man and Dep respected him, they were friends and many times Dep completed favors for Eli and when they returned Eli always gave a nod of thanks to Sharky for his service. Eli was driving the resistance and it will be sad that he won’t see the end of it. He’ll be missed by everyone.

That night everyone around the fire drank to Eli and the Milita, there were toasts by good friends of his, others just gave a word of appreciation. People told war stories about what he did for the resistance and then came the stories before the war, running into him at the spread eagle and playing a game of pool or seeing him down at a local game of baseball. He was friendly and kind to almost everyone he met. 

The next day was similar to those others when a huge explosion rippled from the mountains, so far it could be heard from the Marina. Sharky grabs him shotgun and stands up, alert of any approaching dangers. The radio next to him cracks to life and heavy breathing can be heard from the other side of the line.

“This is Deputy Pratt, I’m here with the Junior Deputy and we need urgent medical assistance at Jacobs Armory. If someone’s there please help.”

Holy Shit. Dep is alive, that explosion was Dep. Sharky thinks for a second that he just imagined it but everybody felt the mountain shake. He’s got to get to Dep. 

“Help is on the way amigo.”

He quickly responds before going over to tell Hurk. 

It takes them a lot longer than Sharky would have liked while driving but the only helicopter they had was Tulip and she’s too small to carry a pilot plus medical supplies and have an armed convey for security so they had to drive.

Sharky’s foot taps up and down the whole car ride and doesn’t stop until he can haul himself out of the car as fast as he can, almost tripping over in the process. When he gets there the whole mouth of the bunker has been ruptured and the trucks and cars parked are on fire in the driveway.

There are a few trees on fire as well and through the smoke it’s hard to see clearly. One of the Milita behind him cheers with enthusiasm that the Whitetails have been liberated. Deputy Pratt is found sitting on a rock with a medical kit attending to what looks like a broken nose, black eyes and blood dripping down his head. He looks like he’s barely holding it together but Sharky really needs to talk to him because he will not stop till he finds Dep.

When Sharky asks just that he gets a grunt of pain and Pratt points towards the bunker, clearly not in the mood to talk to anyone. 

Sharky couldn’t care less though because all thoughts leave his head when he sees Dep sitting on the floor with his back to the wall. Above him is a smudge of blood and runs down the wall to where he’s sitting, clearly Dep slid down the wall. 

He makes his way carefully over to Dep almost dreading what he sees next. 

Dep has a huge stain on blood through his shirt, his hand trying to apply pressure to a wound on his abdomen. More blood drips out of Dep’s mouth and the arm that isn’t holding his stomach is hanging limp beside him with two bullet wounds straight through his bicep. Around his calves and ankles are the clear signs of Wolves teeth that have dug in and torn straight through flesh. He notices that Dep looks thinner as his cheekbones stand out. It’s as if he’s been staving which he knows is something Jacob does. 

Sharky doesn’t even know where to begin as he’s in shock at the state of Dep. He kneels down next to him and holds his hand out in front of him hesitantly. He wants to touch Dep, to make sure he’s real, so that he can take care of him but there’s no where Sharky could place his hand without hurting him further. Dep tried to get a word out, his mouth open yet nothing but blood comes out and he chokes on it, coughing and trying to breathe properly. His head jerks to the side and Sharky places a hand on his neck to hold him up and stop him choking. 

Sharky yells at the top of his lungs for someone to come over with medical assistance quickly and apologized to Dep who winced at the noise. He smooths his hands through Dep’s grotty hair, noticing too that he’s covered in dirt as well as blood but right now that’s the least of their problems.

“Dep I-“

He doesn’t get a chance to say anything before a group of Milita come over with a stretcher and medical bag. Sharky notices on their uniforms that they have a medical patch on their arm. Sharky has no choice but to give them space and he reluctantly lets go of Dep who is carefully placed on the stretcher and carry him into the back of a white truck which is being used as a mobile medical unit in the back. They close the back up and drive away down the hill.

“Common, they’re taking him to the medical clinic in the Valley. Lindsey is already on his way, they’re gonna take care of him for the time being. We’ll drive down okay?”

Hurk places a hand on his elbow and pulls him toward his car, opening the door and taking his shotgun off him before making his way into the drivers seat himself.

On the drive down Sharky can hear cheers and celebrations all over, there are fireworks and victorious gunfire from the entire County but Sharky is in no mood to party right now. He feels in some way it’s a small victory though, Dep is alive (yet not by much) but alive nonetheless and he’s being taken care of by medical folks that actually know what they’re doing so it brings him some comfort at least.

When they pull up to the clinic it’s rather quiet, Sharky can only guess that now the Valley has been liberated there’s less need for security. The white truck is parked beside the clinic and a few other smaller cars which he doesn’t recognize. As they entre two guards stand in their way and size them up.

“No one comes through, now back off.”

Sharky’s blood boils, as if they think he’s just gonna walk away and leave Dep there alone. Behind him Hurk also looks like he’s about to throw hands with two large Milita who are most likely trained very well but Hurk is known to be dangerously stupid so they should be cautious.

“Gentlemen, these two here can come through, I know for a fact the Deputy specifically asked for Mr. Boshaw here.”

The two men turn their attention to Pastor Jerome who stands politely with his hands in his pockets and his bulletproof vest removed.

He gives a soft smile and a nod to the two of the and points to one of the doors used for patients in private. As they walk past Jerome places a hand up at Hurk yet the gesture is not hostile.

“Mr. Drubman, you wouldn’t mind assisting me in bringing some materials in for Dr. Lindsey that would assist the Deputy.”

It was Jerome’s formal way of saying give him a minute alone with Dep. Sharky always thought Jerome was cool but now he’s like the new Messiah or something, the guy is hella smart and super cool with all the resistance n stuff.

When Sharky enters the room however, the joking mood goes out the door like a light. Dep is sleeping softly with his head laid out on the pillow, with little butterfly stitches across his cheek bone. There’s bandaging around his shoulder and arm with a drip tapped gentle into his forearm. 

With his shirt removed there’s bruising all along his rib cage and there’s a bloody bandage wrapped around his torso just before the blanket covers the rest of him.

The blood from the wounds is gone and he notices the muddy and blood ridden wipes on a table beside him.

That’s when he notices Lindsey sitting in the corner writing notes on a clipboard and jumps when he sees Sharky at the doorway and he looks between him and Dep.

“He was unconscious when he arrived, mostly likely passed out from the pain. But most of the injuries are minor except for a few rather damaging ones. He’s got two broken ribs and severe damage to his left calf which may have some nerve damage and could potentially mean he can’t walk on that leg again, but I wouldn’t think too much about that for the time being. He also has a severe wound on his stomach which has caused internal bleeding, my guess is it’s a shotgun wound and from what I can tell he hasn’t had food in the last ten or so days.”

Sometime during Lindsey’s assessment Sharky sat down beside Dep in a uncomfortable plastic chair and took ahold of his better hand, wrapping it gently in his own and holding Dep’s palm against his face softly.

Lindsey said nothing about it and asked a few generic questions to which he wrote down on his notepad. When he was done he swiftly left the room and closed the door behind him, leaving Sharky alone with Dep.

Dep’s fingers are limb in his own but they’re warm and alive, he can feel Dep’s slow pulse faintly through his wrist and he places the smallest kiss over it. He doesn’t say anything, he doesn’t need to right now. Instead he stands and places another soft kiss to his forehead, trying his best to be gentle with his trembling hands. 

He sits back down and takes Dep’s hand again, this time leaning down to rest his head on the mattress- his hand still in Dep’s and he slowly falls asleep beside Dep with one final thought in his mind.

_I love you too._


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> okay so this one is way longer then I thought it would be and it took twice as long to write! I haven’t edited it so I’m sorry in advance.
> 
> Please note this one is written from my deputy’s perspective and I’ve given him a little bit of back story which will pop up way later.
> 
> Hope you guys like this one as it’s different from the usual chapters- Enjoy :)

Red slowly seeps into the corner of his vision and everything begins to slow down, a sharp pain rushes to his head causing him to groan out. Dep lifts his hand to try and soothe the ache but struggles to keep his footing. In his head he can hear the faint sound of only you and he knows the peggies will be on their way sometime soon.

Sharky comes up behind him and places a hand on his neck, turning them so he faces him. Dep can see the worry on Sharky’s face, he wants to reach out and tell him it will be fine, that he’s okay. But they don’t have the time for that- not now.

With a guilty feeling, he places a hand on Sharky’s chest and pushes him away. The peggies won’t hurt him if Dep can help it. 

It gets increasingly harder to think as the red clouds his vision even further, the song now ringing through his ears. There’s a chance he could snap and kill Sharky right here if the music gets any louder- he couldn’t love with himself if he hurt him.

“You need to get out of here right now. S’not safe.”

Dep barely gets the words out, each move of his mouth sent pain shooting through his head and his knees weaken. Dep’s vision doubles and he begins to feel dizzy and lightheaded. Even though he’s standing right next to him, Sharky’s voice is miles away as he protests about leaving him here. Dep doesn’t register much else after that, other than trying to user Sharky in the general direction of safety.

His head spins and he hits the floor with a solid thump, his legs finally giving in. There are sharp red lines slashing his vision and the last thing he sees is Sharky running through the forest before a peggie hits him over the nose with the end of his shotgun, turning everything black.

~

Dep wakes up in a rusty cage, the floor is wet from who knows what and is ridden with mud and blood. He looks up and immediately registers that he’s in the Veterans centre, he’s been there enough times to recognize it however he’s in a different cage than the usual one. There’s a green tarp layered over the top of the rusty metal which covers him from the harsh sun. He can hear screams from his left and Dep looks over to see a whitetail solider being thrown into the cage next to him. He’s young with soft blonde hair, the boy couldn’t be older than twenty. When the guard lets him go in the cage, he scurries to the corner furtherest away from anyone and curls in on himself, crying silently. He probably won’t make it much longer, Dep sighs and wishes he could do something more to help him.

Dep notices next the amount of peggies carrying supplies and the hustle of chosen giving orders, yelling at anyone that falls out of line. Dep knows how this works, Jacob runs the mountains like the military. Everyone has orders, it’s the same routine and anyone who is not strong enough will not survive.

He sits up and leans his back against the cage, trying to stay still to preserve energy, having no idea when his next meal will be. To his right he can see the entrance to the centre, there are cargo trucks and prisoners being taken in and out and he watches with caution, scanning faces to see if the caught Sharky. 

All day he waits and there’s no sign of him which has relief flooding him. However it doesn’t last long as Jacob approaches the cage he sits in. Behind Jacob’s large frame is Staci but his head is faced down, staring at the floor. He’s covered in grime and he’s shaking slightly.

Jacob just stares at him and says nothing, he walks away towards the gates whistling the tune of only you like it’s a lovely Sunday afternoon. It takes Dep everything he’s got to try and block out the red fizzling away at his vision. Trying to break free from the trainer condition which has him killing with ease. 

Staci doesn’t have the same amount of willpower as Dep can see him trying to fight it, tripping in his step as he follows after Jacob with a pained expression on his face.

After two days of sitting in the cage Dep really starts to feel his stomach drop and begins to feel the affects of no food. A scruffy looking guard brings him a canteen of water everyday but he’s allowed nothing else.

Last night the young solider begged for food from one of the guards eating on a wooden box, it must have been a casserole or stew as the bowl was steaming and smelt amazing. The guard was anger however and dragged him out of the cage and behind the centre. He still hasn’t come back.

That same night he also saw Jacob return, he was covered in blood and he looked pent up and frustrated. There was a scowl on his face and he stormed into the centre. Dep noticed Staci wasn’t walking behind him and he feared for the worst.

He’s surprised over the next few days that Jacob or any of the peggies have bothered him. The only interaction he gets is from the guard who brings the water. Otherwise he’s left to rot in the cell alone. 

Dep closes his eyes, trying to stay focused in the heat, his head is pounding and he feels as though his own body is eating him alive. His muscles can barely move, even turning his head is an effort. He’s slumped more onto his side as the smell of the camp fills his senses. The screams, the stench of blood and piss has him feeling nauseous in waves, each one heavier than the next.

Dep tries to distract himself, lets his mind wander to nicer things far away from this horrible place. He thinks about his mother, her soft brown hair and green eyes, the way she used to hold him when he was younger. She smelt like the lemonade she made in the summer, sweet and citrus like, he always loved her lemonade. 

He thinks about his older brother Nathan, how they used to play with a ball underneath the lemon tree, the way Nate ruffled his hair when he was proud of him. Their mother raised them on her own and both his mother and brother went above and beyond to give him every opportunity they could give.

Dep misses them a lot, when their mother died he was just turning eighteen and they used the money they saved for college. But she got sick and Nate’s part time shift at the movies wasn’t enough to pay for the expenses. Saying goodbye to her was the hardest thing they ever had to do. 

After that, the two of them slowly lost contact. It wasn’t necessarily because they pushed each other away, they just had different lives to live. Dep went off to finish college and then went straight into the academy for training while his brother moved out of town. They’ve spoken every so often during holidays and birthdays, they check in like it’s the good old days and they’re still as close as ever but since moving to Hope County and fighting this war he fears he may never see his brother again.

Hope County hasn’t been all bad though, he’s made new family along the way. When he first met Nick Rye he was just lending a hand and returning his plane, he didn’t realize they’d make one hell of a team and when he was introduced to Kim, they welcomed him with open arms. They always have each other’s back and Dep does his best to repair the County so that their child may have somewhere nice to grow up some day. 

Grace has also become another close friend who Dep would lay down his life for in a second. They understand each other so well, both that silent but deadly type who can appreciate each other’s company and read what the other is saying without the need of a conversation. The death of his mother left Dep rather quiet and reserved to which Grace was able to understand as she too lost her father. He remembers sitting on the roof of the Lamb of God church with her, staring out into the night- watching and protecting the graveyard below them when Grace asked if he lost someone.

“You’ve lost someone haven’t you?”

He nods in affirmation.

“My mother.”

They didn’t say anything else, just watched the cars that drove by scanning for any potential threats.

Then of course there’s Sharky, never in a million years did he think someone like Sharky would come into his life. Yet Dep was pleasantly surprised by the outcome. When he first entered that trailer park and saw him standing on a roof looking like a maniac, holding nothing but a flamethrower and blasting out disco tunes he never thought he’d end up falling in love with him. But he did, ever since that day Sharky stuck with him and he made surprisingly good company. Even after a long day of walking endlessly through forests and taking out peggie after peggie, Sharky somehow found a story to talk about. Whether it was cow killing wasps or the time he kissed a skunk there was never a dull day with him. The victory dance he does when they gun down the last peggie and the way he’ll shoot his flamethrower into the air, sending fire everywhere as he fist pumps the air after a long day. It’s the little things Dep notices and it makes him smile.

He admires how kind hearted and open Sharky is, the way he wears his heart on his sleeve and isn’t afraid to say how he feels. Most people mistake it for stupidity or ignorance but not Dep, it’s one of the first things he noticed about him. The way he babbles and then nervously waits for a reaction, as if he’s going to be rejected or told to be quiet and it makes his heart break. Dep wishes he could do more to protect him, but in this world where no one knows if they’ll live to see the next day there’s a list of priorities that have to come first- food, shelter, water and medical supplies are the upmost importance. 

Dep tells himself just that, to keep him strong while he rots away in this cage. Sending Sharky away was the right choice, he couldn’t live with himself if he let him be taken too. Dep just has to hold onto those memories to keep him alive.

~

Days pass by and the guard that brings him water only comes every second day now. He’s lost count of how long he’s been sitting there in the cage, he’s covered in grime and dirt, last night he passed out from exhaustion and woke up with the left side of his hair mud ridden. His limbs hang dead beside him as even keeping his eyes open takes everything out of him. 

He’s ignored by most of the peggies outside the cage, the occasional murmur of “sinner” and “weak” come from under their breaths but nothing more.

That is, until a chosen kicks the cage and orders him to stand up. Dep can’t of course, having no strength left in him at all but moves his hands to the bars in an attempt to push himself up. The Chosen has his mask removed with only his uniform to distinguish him from the rest of the group. He sneers at the Deputy and reaches forward to unlock the cage. Two peggies both heavily armed walk into the cage and handcuff him before dragging him out by his arms. 

Dep’s head hangs low and his feet drag through the mud as the peggies drag him into a dark room inside the Centre. The room is pitch black besides from the projector which has a montage of images displaying wolf’s covered in blood and the remains of their prey. Dep has seen it all before.

He’s strapped to a chair and he lifts his head to see Jacob standing in front of him looking very unimpressed and displeased.

“You are weak. 

You think you’re helping people, that you’re fighting for the good guys- that you’re a hero.

But you’re not, you are nothing but a tool for others to use. Once you serve your purpose you’ll no longer be needed. No one will remember you as their hero, you bring nothing but death and in the words of my brother, wrath upon everything you touch.

If I don’t kill you first, they will.”

Before Dep can get angry and retaliate Jacob winds the music box and the melody of Only you rings freely through the walls. His throat tightens and his vision blurs, even in the darkness of the room violent, red spots appear behind his eyes. He thrashes in the chair trying to fight it but it’s no use, his mind is already foggy and he can feel himself loosing control.

The next thing he sees is a gun in front of him and without thinking or feeling he leaps forward, aims and fires. Two Milita soldiers hit the floor in front of him and he doesn’t blink twice about it. He’s consumed by an anger and a rage which is not his own, he can’t stop it. Each melody in the song triggers his next move and he lets loose gunshot after gunshot. Bullets are flying and soldiers hit the ground, he feels a bullet fly through his arm but he doesn’t stop.

The red is everywhere it’s almost nauseating. He feels sick- in the back of his mind he remembers these soldiers have families, that each bullet that lands is another grieving soul. But he keeps firing, making kill after kill. At one point he tackles a soldier with his bear hands and squeezes the life right out of him when he finally ran out of bullets.

The sounds of Jacob in his ear makes him sick, each praise makes him run faster and shoot quicker. He should stop but his muscles are moving against his will, the conditioning taking its toll. 

There’s so much movement and anger and rage that when it all comes to a blinding holt, it’s so disorienting that Dep doesn’t register what he’s just done.

In front of him is Eli, his friend with a bullet straight between both eyes. What has he done? Oh god, he did that. Jacob never meant to kill Eli, this whole time Dep was the one who would pull the trigger. How could he do this?

Dep feels his chest tighten and he can barely breath, in front of him Jacob is talking but all he hears is white noise. What has he done? He feels sick but he’s frozen in his place, totally complacent to Jacob and the conditioning. Jacob was right, he’s not a hero. Hero’s don’t kill their own.

Someone is talking to him- it’s not Jacob but there is a hand on his shoulder. It’s Tammy and next to her is Wheaty, they’re trying to calm him down, to talk to him.

“It wasn’t your fault.”

Tammy and Wheaty both try to reassure him that it’s okay, that what he did was acceptable under the conditions. That Jacob was really to blame. But Dep can see the hurt in their eyes, the way Tammy looks at the floor in distress and how Wheaty has tears in his eyes. Dep did this, and so he should be the one to fix it. To make it right. It’s the least he should do after the amount of death he’s brought upon them- he’s not a hero.

When the doors to the Wolf’s Den open the sky is dark and red fills his vision again. His rifle is back in his hands and there’s speakers all over the surrounding hills. Wolves run towards him with blood filled jaws and he fires in rapid succession. They all disappear into rest dust once the bullet hits.

He runs towards the speaker and places the first explosive down, suddenly realizing what he must do. He’s going to kill Jacob.

There are Milita soldiers in the hills firing on him, he has no choice but to shoot back. Like the wolves, they too disappear after they’re hit. Another bullet grazes his shoulder and it rips through him like it’s the real thing. He hunches over and feuds in pain, his hand immediately going to apply pressure. But he must push on, the sky gets darker and the red feels like a fog, trying to force his way through it. 

On the last speaker, Dep is perched behind a rock for cover, trying to take out the last two snipers when he misses a wolf that comes from behind him. It’s jaws clamping onto his ankle and rip through the skin there and his lower calf. He screams in pain as he loads his hand gun and fires, red dust floats to the ground where the wolf stood seconds ago. He pulls out a bandage from his pocket and does his best to hold the wound together, there’s so much blood that Dep can’t really assess the damage.

He picks up and explosive and throws it over his head behind him and hears the speakers explode loudly. As soon as it’s destroyed Dep’s eyes roll into the back of his head and he’s consumed by darkness.

There’s a blue sky when he comes too, a small bag of ammo sitting beside him. He can hear Jacob yelling insults over the radio on his belt. He looks over the boulder to see Jacob on top of the mountain peak above the Wolf’s Den and Dep reloads his rifle in anticipation of what’s to come.

The peggies that rush towards him get gunned down in quick succession, Dep falling back into a routine of murderous killing once more. Climbing up the mountain to get to Jacob is more difficult than he thought, with a bad ankle and all. The rock face is steep and there’s not many places where he can find a firm footing. The sound of Jacobs voice however makes him push through.

He crouches low to avoid detection and he can see the top of Jacob’s head peering over the cliff to find him, completely oblivious to Dep standing behind him.

He lines up his rifle and fires, hitting Jacob’s lower back and thigh.

But Jacob is not so easy to give up and he lunges at Dep, toppling them both over till they fall off the cliff. Dep was lucky and landed on a little ledge over hanging the mountain but Jacob, having thrown his whole body ended up further out and fell much further.

The fall itself was not enough to kill Jacob but it could have broken a bone or two. When Dep climbs down Jacob is rambling about the apocalypse, about how Dep will be the one who is wrong, who will suffer and who will loose all that he ever loved because of his decisions.

“You had no fucking clue.”

The last breath of Jacob seeps out of him in a pained huff but his face is placid like he’s satisfied with the outcome of his death- of his sacrifice.

Dep sits there for a moment at a loss of what to do, trying to catch his breath while waiting for his mind to catch up to the events that have happened. He’s in slight shock of the situation.

~

Rescuing Pratt was a blur. Each level of the bunker looked exactly the same yet totally different and he lost all sense of his bearings. He doesn’t remember how many peggies he killed or how they died. All he knows is he didn’t stop firing his rifles till all the ammo was gone. This time though there is no music, no condition to which he can blame his actions on, this is the wrath he brings towards others and it doesn’t matter what side he fights for, he will always bring pain and death upon others.

With Deputy Pratt on his tail they make their way out of the bunker, trying to find the route out. Dep stopped to reload next to an ammo container when a heavily armed peggie came around the corner, the first round of bullets missed him but instead hit the container and an explosion when off, causing him to hear ringing in his ears. Totally disoriented and in excruciating pain the armed peggie fired and he was quick to jump out of the way. Dep’s plan failed however when a bullet hit him straight into his stomach and had him hitting the floor.

The pain that ripped through him was something he never experienced before. It was another level of pain. He looked up to see Deputy Pratt standing over the peggie who was now faced down on the floor with blood seeping through his chest. Pratt’s arm reached out and he hurled Dep to his feet which were getting weaker by the minute. The wound on his ankle has started bleeding more since he entered the bunker, having run out of bandages some time ago.

“Common, we gotta keep moving.”

Pratt sounded just as weak as Dep felt, there’s no telling what Jacob did to him down there in that room. The two lean on each other for support, well it’s mainly Dep leaning on Pratt but they make it up the stairs and out of the mouth of the bunker.

Pratt lets go of him to run towards a car, most likely to get a radio as an explosion rips through the air and destroys the remains of Jacob’s bunker.

Dep barely registers it through the ringing in his ears, he can taste blood in his mouth and he can feel himself slipping. He’s been injured before but never as bad as this. He’s never felt like his body is about to just stop, like it’s giving in and just letting go. He leans against a wall, his good hand clutched to his stomach trying to stop the bleeding but it’s not that affective.

He slides down the wall to the floor as his legs can no longer hold his weight. His breathing becomes labored and he truly feels like this is his end, that his body just won’t survive this experience. He’s starving, bleeding and exhausted as he lets his eyes close. Every so often he throws his eyes open, trying to stay awake and to hang on that little bit further, to maybe push through.

There’s a figure in front of him, he didn’t hear any cars but then again his hearing is fucked for the time being. As the person bends down in front of him he sees green eyes, smile lines and shabby brown hair and suddenly Dep knows exactly who is in front of him.

It’s Sharky. Never has Dep been more relieved to see anyone, what is left of him begins to feel safe and warm even though nothing has changed, just having him here with him makes Dep feel like he can pull through.

Even if he can’t find the strength to make it, he’s happy that he’s here. That he can be with someone he loves dearly.

He tries to open his mouth, to say just that. Dep wants to hold him, to talk to him, to tell Sharky that he loves him. That he’s sorry for everything his done. 

His mind is screaming but nothing comes out and his vision turns black for a second and suddenly Sharky’s hand on his neck is holding his head up.

Sharky’s hand is so warm and soft against his trembling skin. He’s in a cold sweat and Sharky’s hand is like a fire during a snow storm.

All he remembers is the warm hand on his neck before things turn black and he falls unconscious.

~

The first thing Dep feels before he opens his eyes is something soft in his hand, it slips through his fingers and he flexes his hand against it.

He gently opens his eyes to a room with soft yellow lighting, the window outside is dark indicating its night. Dep looks down to where his hand is and underneath it is Sharky with his head leaning on the mattress. He’s hunched in an awkward position of half leaning on the chair and the bed. Dep recognizes the chair and the ugly curtains immediately, they’re in Hope County Clinic.

Sharky slowly stirs awake as Dep twirls with his short hair very softly. Still not regaining much strength, with only the ability to flex his fingers slightly. 

When their eyes meet both of them smile. Dep’s heart fills with joy and a sense of happiness when he sees Sharky beam at him like that.

Dep gets that urge to hold him and to kiss him again but all he manages to do is lift his hand weakly. Sharky takes his hand in his own and loops their fingers together, softly stroking his thumb over the back of Dep’s hand.

Its such a comforting gesture that Dep’s heart swells and tears fill his eyes. he’s really missed him.

It’s the second time Dep tries to say something but comes out empty handed. He tries not to show the emotions he feels as he uses all the strength to squeeze Sharky’s hand. He doesn’t want to cry but his body is so tired that he doesn’t have any control over his reactions.

Sharky gives him a sad smile and stands to sit on the edge of the bed- never once letting go of his hand. He leans down and gently rests his forehead against Dep’s own, their noses touching. Dep can feel the way Sharky is trembling slightly, like he’s scared to let go or be too far away. Dep can’t do much in his current state, but he tilts his head back just slightly and their lips brush ever so lightly. It’s all the two of them need before they finally let go of everything.

They sign into each other’s mouth as their kiss deepens. Sharky’s hat is gone and Dep wishes he could comb his fingers through the short brown stands. He wishes he could do anything more than just lie there.

When they finally pull apart, Sharky brings their still intertwined hands up and places a kiss to Dep’s bandaged knuckle- he didn’t even realize he had an injury there. He flexes his fingers weakly out of Sharky’s hold and gently runs his fingers along his cheek. Dep feels the scratchy stubble under his fingers, the warmth of Sharky’s slightly pink cheek. Sharky turns his face to hide in Dep’s palm as he whispers softly. 

“Y’know I really thought you weren’t coming back...”

Sharky doesn’t look at him, just leans into his hand further. Dep does his best to reach behind Sharky and loop his hand around the back of his neck, gently pulling him back down so their noses touch again. Dep rubs slow circles on the back of his neck and kisses anywhere he can. 

“I’m always going to come back to you.”

Sharky smiles in between them and for a while they sit comfortably in the quiet of the clinic. With some effort and assistance, Dep was able to move over an inch or so and Sharky now sits half resting on the bed with his head leaning on his good shoulder. They’re both just glad to be together.

“Nick stopped by while you were out cold, wanted to check on ya and make sure we had all the supplies to treat you. Got Kim all worried too but she stayed home to take care of the newborn and such. Hurk went home some time ago saying he was tired and he had some things to do at the Marina. M’ pretty sure Pastor Jerome and Lindsey are still here to make sure you don’t die and all.”

Dep knows Sharky is doing that nervous rambling thing where he just gets the need to talk when it’s quiet sometimes but he’s really glad to hear him and about everyone else. That’s how he ends up drifting off to sleep, listening to Sharky catch him up on all that he’s missed. He’s not exactly tired but Dep can guess it’s a mixture of pain meds and his body needing to heal but nonetheless he’s out like a light.

~

When he wakes up sometime later, the room is full of light and his eyes squint from the brightness. It must be around noon.

Dep notices that Sharky isn’t in bed next to him or in the chair. Having more strength now Dep sits up fully and tries to get out of bed thinking he’s got all his strength back after one night.

The huge cuts to his calf have been stitched and bandaged but they’re going to take weeks to heal. Dep misjudges his abilities and has to grab the wall for support. He ends up half slumped over the window seal as he uses his arms to hold himself up, his leg having lost most of its ability. By holding himself up, Dep popped the stitches in his bicep that was placed there after Lindsey removed the bullets.

It’s a disaster and Dep is frustrated by his own ability, he should be out there helping and doing his best to save people. Each day he wastes lying here is a missed opportunity to save another innocent life. Dep knows he can’t save everyone but he’s stubborn and impatient when it comes to looking after himself.

Sharky comes in luckily and runs over to him to help take some to Dep’s weight, almost tripping in the process.

“Slow down there amigo, you ain’t going nowhere- I can’t have you walking around and busting stitches now.”

His tone is light but the look Sharky gives him when he finally sits down on the bed is enough to make him feel bad. He’s clearly worried about him and Sharky’s eyes are filled with concern. Guilt seeps into Dep as he reads the pained and panicked look on his face, he’d much rather see a smile there instead. 

Dep has no choice but to lean on him as his arms can’t hold himself up for much longer, his arm wrapping around Sharky’s shoulder. It could almost be called a hug if either of them weren’t trying to be careful with the endless amount of wounds that littered Dep’s body. Sharky’s hand is warm against his abdomen, a constant reminder to Dep that he’s here with him, safe by his side. However his hand sits dangerously close to the large, bandaged wound on his stomach and Dep tries not to think about how he nearly died last night.

When they make it past the three steps it takes to reach the bed, Sharky leans him back to sit on the bed. Dep’s hand still clings to his shoulder with the little strength he has and when Sharky gently maneuvers him to lay down- Dep brings him down with him.

Sharky is positioned awkwardly against the bed, trying not to touch any sensitive spots or chords or tubes. But Dep just needs him close as he finally threads his fingers through Sharky’s soft hair. Dep rests his head in the crook of his neck and takes a deep breath, leaning into the soft embrace.

“I have to go back there...”

Dep whispers against Sharky’s skin as he clings a little tighter, almost like he doesn’t want to let go. Sharky pulls back to look at him in shock, as if he’s joking.

“You can’t be serious, right? How much more dickin’ around do ya gotta do up there? Jake is dead, there ain’t gonna be anymore serious attacks from the Whitetails so just rest yeah?”

By the end of it, there’s an uncertain look in Sharky’s eyes and they’re almost pleading at him. In return, Dep wraps their fingers together.

“I can’t just leave them up there, the pain I caused for them- I need to fix what I’ve done wrong.”

Sharky’s brows furrow in confusion like he doesn’t understand where he’s coming from. That is, until Dep elaborates further.

“I killed Eli. I’m responsible for the deaths of countless of Milita soldiers- I nearly got Pratt killed. I don’t know how many I killed. Sometimes they’d vanish into thin air right in front of me, other times they’d drop to the floor so hard I-“

Dep didn’t get to finish what he meant to say, all the pain, stress and most importantly the guilt that’s been built up this entire time has finally caught up to him. He’s just so tired. Sharky leans down again and hugs him gently, doing his best to calm him down and comfort him. Dep wraps his arms around Sharky’s torso, underneath the layer of his hoodie and lets out a sigh which ends in a sob.

“I don’t even know what’s real anymore...” 

The music that Jacob played to condition him has forever tampered his brain. When he’s in that red fused trance everything feels like a nightmare. When he’s in the woods running around with red glazed eyes he doesn’t know if the enemy in front of him is just his imagination or an innocent soldier with a family. He’s so lost in it that Dep doesn’t even feel when he’s been shot, stabbed or bitten until after the red fazes out and he passes out from pain and exhaustion.

“Shh Dep, it’s okay- you’re okay. Everybody here knows what you go through for us- the pain ya put yourself through so that we have a fighting chance against these fuckin peggies. Nobody blames you for the death of Eli or those soldiers or even any civilian. We know you’re doing the best you can. Not everyone is going to make it but ya can’t blame yourself for that, I know it’s hard but ya need to know there’s people who love and care about what happens to ya. Nick, Grace and all of us were worried sick about you for days, myself included. I dunno what I woulda done if we didn’t find you quick enough... Anyway the point is that well I love ya and there’s plenty other good folks out there that do too. It’s the people that you love that make all this stupid cult stuff worth fighting for, it’s how you know what’s real.”

Sharky kisses him after that, soft and gentle like Dep is nothing but broken glass. In that moment, Dep knows what’s real, there’s no red dust in his eyes, no music ringing throughout his ears. He has a reason to fight and he’s right here in front of him.

And with that he relaxes in Sharky’s grip, letting out a deep sigh as the exhaustion rolls over him once more. Dep’s eyes close softly and lets sleep consume him. 

The last thing Dep feels before he’s out cold is Sharky’s hand on the back of his neck, gently moving his head to rest against the pillow.

**Author's Note:**

>   
>  side note: i love sharky


End file.
